Final Thoughts Month of June: Blog 4- Letters from Mom & Mimi

Dear Ellie,

Final Thoughts: In all of my years of education, I have found that the smartest students were the most curious.  Always ask questions.  Never take, “Just because,” as an answer.

Some of your most recent questions:

1.     Why does it thunder?

2.     Why do we go to the bathroom?

3.     Why do I have a skeleton?

4.     How do we get cavities?

5.     How is paper made?

6.     How does it rain?

7.     Why can we see the moon in the daytime?

8.     How do worms die in our driveway?

9.     Do worms have mouths?

10. How do toilets work?

11. Why is the frog’s foot ripping (as you referred to its webbed foot)?

Now, I knew the answer to none of those awesome questions above so off to YouTube we went.

However there were other questions that YouTube couldn’t help me with and I had to stumble through and give my own responses:

1.     What is the difference between terrible and horrible?  “I think they mean the same thing and I use them in the same way.  That’s called a synonym.”

2.     What is a soul?  “It’s what gives your body life spiritually.  It’s invisible and I imagine that it is near your heart.  Your soul is kind, compassionate, and good.  This is what travels up to heaven when you die leaving your body here on earth.”

3.     What does heaven look like? “Everything you love so I would bet it is rainbow colored with books, fudge, relatives, and friends.”

4.     Why are people underneath those rocks (as we drove by a cemetery)?  “That’s the bodies of the people who died and whose souls are now in heaven.”

5.     Why did Kyle die? “He was too sick and too broken to fix.”

6.     How did he get to heaven?  “We told him it was ok to go.  The worst thing in the entire world is for a parent to see their child hurting.” 

7.     Who’s the boss on Who’s the Boss?  “Sometimes Tony, sometimes Angela, and sometimes the children… depends on the episode.”

8.     Why did they name a show called Full House?  “Have you seen how many people live in that house???”

9.     What are videos?  “Ugh… old-fashioned DVD’s.”

10. Where do babies come from?  “Lots and lot of love!”

Love you my inquisitive girl,

Mom

Final Thoughts Month of June: Blog 3- Letters from Mom & Mimi

Good Morning Ellie!

With summer officially starting on June 21^st, I thought penning a poem about the season would be a perfect blog entry for this week.  So here it is.

Final Thoughts:  Summer is an ageless season of energy and lazy days, smiles and daydreaming, treats and homegrown freshness, barbequing and parks.  Overall… it is a season of pure fun to be embraced year after year!

Summertime

Popsicles and Ice cream

Are yummy summer treats.

Swimming pools and sprinklers

Are ways to beat the heat.

Soccer ball and baseball

Always on the run.

Flashlight tag and fireflies

Nighttime too is fun.

Thunderstorms and rainbows

Before the sky turns bright.

Blue skies and sunshine

A summer days delight!

By: Mickey Russell

Ellie, I am looking forward to sharing ‘all’ the above with you and your brother Will along with a few more surprises too!  

And if you are intrigued about those surprises, I am sure they will present themselves in some upcoming blogs for you to read about!  So get ready for lots of fun in the sun!

Love you Summertime Girl!

Mimi

Final Thoughts Month of June: Blog 2- Letters from Mom & Mimi

Dear Ellie,

You just had your last day of school ceremony and it made me think.

Final Thoughts: Tis the season for graduation speeches… if I were to give a commencement address, here is my advice to seniors (your brother Kyle was my inspiration for this one, especially since the 6^th recipient was awarded his scholarship just last week).

No one likes to think about death.  But for a moment, imagine your own obituary.  What do you want it to say?  Great humanitarian?  Master engineer?  Loyal friend?  Devoted parent?  Thoughtful neighbor?  Talented musician?  Brilliant doctor?  Spiritual advisor?  

Is the path that you are on right now going to make these words a reality?  What will your obituary say if you died tomorrow?  Be careful- laziness, selfishness, and jealousy often hold people back from their ultimate potential. 

At this moment, take five deep breaths and look into your heart.  What is it filled with?  Is it filled with passion, kindness, love, and faith?  And if it’s not, a good place to start is by asking yourself what gifts did God give you for you to share (know that everyone has at least one gift).

Then, shine that light on others.    

Don’t ask what people can do for you, but rather ask how you can help others.  How will you change the world?  Who will you impact?  What value will you bring to those around you?

Make a positive legacy for yourself.  When you are long gone, how (not if) will your name and reputation be remembered?  Start today.  There is no life that is too short to leave an impact.

For me, I don’t need a tombstone.  I want my ashes to be scattered in a breeze over a happy place that I cherished.  I don’t need an obituary.  But at the memorial celebration of my life, I want people to talk about how I loved family- both my own and those that I work with.  This is my goal- to continue to be a better wife, mother, and teacher.  

Love you Ellie and I can’t wait to see what you do with your life (my frog-loving, tomboy),

Mom

Final Thoughts Month of June: Blog 1- Letters from Mom & Mimi

Hi Ellie…

This past Saturday evening was a blast!  So much so that this week’s blog had to be this:

Final Thoughts:  From now through your adult life, I hope I am always ‘cool’ in your eyes!

You see Ellie, you always give me the freedom to come up with a fun idea and I in turn give you the freedom to ‘run with it’ so to speak!  Saturday’s time spent with you is a perfect example of what I am talking about.  Your Mommy and Daddy went to a wedding, so Poppy and I got the pleasure of watching you and Will (and like most typical babysitting days, we always seem to pack in a lot of activities!).  But the one thing I had forgotten was the promise that I made to you to play with the squirt guns outside and get each other wet.  Since it was already after 9:00 pm and quite dark outside, you asked me if we could play with them the next day after church.  At first I said yes, but then I thought “hmmmm… why not play with them now?”  So I asked you if you were ‘game’ to go outside in the dark and play ‘Squirt The Imaginary Pirates.’  Ellie, your eyes little up as big as saucers and you answered with an excitable “SURE!”  So I filled up two squirt guns and out the door we went (in pajama attire of course!).  As we ran around the house squirting shadows and far away bunny rabbits (well let’s hope they were bunny rabbits) you would yell out every so often “Shhhhhh… duck down” and then “All right, the coast is clear Matey.  Let’s go!” and also “Wait… there’s a pirate!  Squirt em Mim’s!!!”  One time we even hid behind a tree and laid in the grass when the neighbor’s car drove up the street and into their driveway.  When the last family member went inside their home and closed the door behind them, we pretended to squirt and capture them too!  Then we would quickly run to the back of my house and sneak up onto the deck to torture Poppy who was sitting in the sunroom.  When he would come to the door, off we ran before he could detect us!  Now in the back of our house we also have a shed with a large square wooden platform in front of it.  You, my little pirate girl, came up with the idea that the platform was to be our boat and also our base.  I came up with the idea that we needed to keep moving and searching for more pirates because unbeknownst to you Ellie, I think a grumpy old groundhog set up house underneath the shed and he wasn’t the type to ask us for tea! 

So off we went again, only this time you came up with the sweetest idea ever.  El, you said “Mimi, just so you know, every time we squirt a pirate, the water that hits them is LOVE and the LOVE turns them back into people like us.  And then they are nice again.”  Ellie, how could I say NO to that?  It was a brilliant idea!  The only problem was that our little platform was soon taken over by THE LOVE!  I think we captured a few dozen new imaginary human beings!  So it was then that I convinced you to move our boat to the front of the house and use the driveway as the ocean (actually, the front of the house was much brighter because of the lamppost and it was also easier for me to duck down, when you told me to, on the steps that lead to our front door and squirt THE LOVE in every crazy direction!).  El, we squirted and captured the moon, the stars, nearby trees and of course all the plastic animals and flowers in my yard!  But the most fun was squirting each other every once in awhile, which produced many a giggle!  I think you and I could have stayed outside playing this wonderfully silly game for hours Ellie, but unfortunately our squirt guns dried up so we had no choice but to go back inside.  And besides, we still had much to do before bed, as there is no set curfew at Mimi and Poppy’s house!   All I can say is that playing with you is such a joy!  

Right now you do not see me as a crazy or corny grandma but rather a playful Mimi that will start you off with an idea you can explore, change or add to and one that I can be a part of also.  May that be for always Ellie.  After all…

You are my Bestest!

Love Mimi

Final Thoughts Month of May- Blog 5: Letters from Mom & Mimi

Dear Ellie,

With it being wedding season, I thought a blog about marriage advice would be appropriate.

Final Thoughts: Do not take marriage lightly.  It is a lot of work!

Have discussions around these points before you get married:

• Explain your thoughts on religion (remember that you may think this is private but try adding in children and extended families… have you considered holiday traditions)?
• What is important to you right now?
• When you envision the future, what does it look like (who is in it, where does it take place, how does it happen)?  Now, all those things you imagine may not happen but what are your non-negotiables (meaning what must you keep and what can you let go to align your dreams)? 
• What are your goals and how do you plan to achieve them?  How do you want me to help you get there?
• Here are my goals… how will you support my dreams?
• This is how I envision our future family to look… how does this fit with how many children you want?  What if one of them has special needs?  What if we can’t have children?
• How can we make our extended families be a part of our lives?

And then ask yourself:

• Are you willing to sacrifice your wants and needs to fulfill someone else’s dreams???  Do you love someone that much???

• What are the things that bother me about my significant other?  And realize that marriage will not make those things go away.  Can you live with those vices?

And when you get married, here is my advice…

1.     You and your partner come first.  Not your parents, not your children, not your friends, you as a couple are foremost in all of your decisions. 

2.     COMPROMISE

3.     Take time to grow as a couple.  If that means the two of you moving far away and becoming independent, go.  But come back when you have children.  That saying “it takes a village” is true!

4.     After an argument, realize it’s ok to go to bed angry.  Sometimes, you need the time and space to think, reflect, and readdress the issues the next morning.

5.     Make a realistic budget and stick to it.  Plan out your meals weekly.

6.     Cook together (or sit and keep the chef company).

7.     Have dinner as a family, sitting down, without the tv on.

8.     Vacation together, just the two of you at least once a year (meaning leave your children with grandparents and get out of your house for an overnight trip).

9.     Vacation as a family at least once a year (preferably to Disney).

10. Take a date night at least once a month.

11. Go on a girls’ night at least once a month and encourage your spouse to have a guys’ night.

12. Be social.  Have friends and family over for dinner, drinks, barbeques, play dates, sporting events, or just because.

13. Create a welcoming, happy, and warm home.

14. Have at least one hobby that has nothing to do with your significant other or your children.

15. When you feel angry or resentful, speak up.

16. Spend time outside with one another.

17. Support each other.

18. Be honest.

19. Pray together.

20. Hold hands.

21. Say, “I love you” multiple times a day.

22. Affectionately touch each other at least once a day.

23. Compliment each other genuinely on at least one thing everyday.

24. Say, “I’m sorry,” when you mess up and “I forgive you” when your spouse makes a mistake.

25. Use “I” statements instead of blaming each other, “I feel _____ when you ______.”

26. Be patient with your spouse.

27. Uplift your spouse on bad days.

28. Take care of and respect yourself.

29. Have fun!

30. Acknowledge birthdays, anniversaries, and holidays in a BIG way- never underestimate hand-written cards, scavenger hunts and heartfelt gifts.  Save a few of them- they will tell your love story to future generations.

Remember that no partner will be perfect, including you. Realize that love changes.  That initial passion will fade but it will be replaced with a feeling so much deeper.  The time, energy, and work you put into your relationship will mean more.  Once you make the promise of a union, don’t take it lightly and don’t walk away from it without giving it your all.  Don’t ever take your spouse for granted.  Marriage is a fulltime job.    

Love you Ellie!

Mom

Final Thoughts Month of May: Blog 4- Letters from Mom & Mimi

Good Morning Ellie!

Poppy and I are returning home from a wonderful weekend spent in Cape May, N.J.  As he drives on this beautiful and somewhat chilly spring day, I get to type my blog entry for this week.  And thankfully, spending time with Jackie prompted my thoughts.  You see, we went to see a Medium, but unfortunately it did not work out due to some unforeseen reasons.  The Medium (a very interesting gentleman) asked us to reschedule, so we did for August.   Anyway I realized while having a glass of wine with Jackie later that evening, that chatting about the anticipation of seeing him, the tad bit of disappointment from an unsuccessful reading and the excitement of having another opportunity to try again has created another memory of a day in my life that I know would be fun to share at random times in the future!

Final Thoughts:  Make sure to share your important, unusual, silly, and yes quirky daily events with others by either voicing them aloud or documenting them to be read periodically!  Over time our memories can slip a bit El, so my best advice to you is to keep them fresh by sharing your stories.

Your Great Gram Russell is the perfect example of someone who can randomly add to any conversation some amazing stories from her early childhood all the way up to today’s date.  And Ellie, it doesn’t matter if she has shared bits of her life once or a dozen times, her stories are never tiring as they always bring on a desire to hear more!  You my dear little one already have a special gift of remembering your past, and with amazing clarity I might add!  And you are only 4 years of age! 

Example 1: You still have a great disdain for hotdogs and have shared the story repeatedly of the time when you were about 15 months old when your babysitter gave you one and you became very sick.   You actually had the flu Ellie, and as that old saying goes, “that poor old hotdog was in the wrong place at the wrong time!”  If anyone even mentions hotdog to you, you make a distorted face and strongly state, “NO!” 

Example 2:  Last week while taking you (I mean Kalena, as that was your character personality of the evening) to get your haircut, I asked you where you lived since I never had the chance to visit you or your family at your home.  You replied, “Well Miss Mickey, I live where we saw the gingerbread man, the snowman, the reindeer and Santa Claus.”  Not following your thought process at all I responded with, “What????”  You calmly and with full knowledge replied, “Miss Mickey, I live where the train and the park are.”  Dumbfounded I answered, “Do you mean the town of  Bellefonte???”  And of course you confidently responded, “Yes, that is exactly where I live.”  When I reported this little story to your Mommy, she was in ‘awe.’  And that is because you have never been to Kalena’s house.  Apparently though about a year ago you met them for a play date at Talleyrand Park (and the Polar Express Train that we took you and Will on during the Christmas season hosting all the above characters travels right beside the park), which is… yep, you guessed it… in Bellefonte! 

Example 3:  Last week when your Mommy took you to a play date at your friend Teyo’s house, you noticed that he had a lightsaber.  Upon close examination, you stated that he must have gotten it at the Spikes baseball game the night they had “free give-away’s in honor of Star Wars.”  Ellie, that baseball game also happened a year ago, something most 4 year olds would not remember happening at 3 years of age! 

Example 4:  Apparently on a recent trip to the Mall you informed your Mom about a time when you and I were there and there was a water leak.  Not having any clue as to what you were talking about, she asked me.  I also didn’t have a clue El.  I was drawing a blank (go figure).  Then, she asked you to explain a bit more and you told her that the water leak was between JC Penny and The Gap.  It took a few minutes to register, and when it did Ellie, I was astonished!  You see, that incident also happened well over a year ago.  You and I were walking from The Gap to JC Penny when we passed a 6-foot section in the main corridor that had been roped off due to a small hole in the floor where water had bubbled up and formed a puddle.  It had created a bit of a mess and the yellow tape prevented people from getting too close and possibly slipping.  …  Who remembers stuff like that???  You of course!  These examples are only a few Ellie of the many you have shared with us.  I could go on and on, but something tells me that you are like a computer.  As you grow older, you will probably be able to ‘click’ on a memory and share it as though it just happened yesterday.

Now if you asked me about something that happened in my life over 50+ years ago, well, I am not sure what my problem is, but I have a terrible time remembering events from just last week let alone my childhood (and that’s the way it has always been with me Ellie from my youth till now!).  Anyway, your Aunt Sheri will share a story now and then that pertained to her, your Uncle Stevie and me when we were kids and I will think to myself, “Huh, was I really there because that story is not registering in my brain at all!”  A friend at work tried reassuring me once (probably more often but I honestly don’t remember) that it has nothing to do with my long term memory being vacant, she also said my short term memory can be just as bad!  Humph… I think it is because I never realized the importance of categorizing information and ‘locking it in!’  But ever since you were born, I have been trying harder… hence the blogs!

Ellie, when it comes to remember past moments in your life with great detail it would not surprise me at all if you were identified with having an eidetic memory.   That means to have the ability to recall images, sounds or objects in memory with great precision.  If this turns out to be true, use it wisely.  And if not, start voicing and penning daily life’s events.  You, your children, your grandchildren and so on will appreciate the memories and the stories!  As Daniel Wilson once stated, “Memories eventually fade, but words hang around forever!”

I love you Little Miss Hard-drive!

Mimi

Final Thoughts Month of May: Blog 3- Letters from Mom & Mimi

Dear Ellie,

Mother’s Day just passed and I wanted to share how we are faring as a family of 4.

Final Thoughts: With regards to children, the hardest transition is going from 0-1. 

After that, it’s all logistics.  In fact, you will feel more comfortable with that 2^nd take-home baby- you know what’s normal and what to panic about.  I felt more calm and relaxed with Will.

Bringing home your first take-home baby is life changing.  And just like the first child, adding another takes planning.

1.     Get up to shower before your children.  You will feel much more productive (otherwise, there is no guarantee you will find the time to get dressed).

2.     Don't worry that you don’t document first foods and teeth coming in with that 2^nd take-home child.  Baby books and journals are time consuming.  Do what you can but don’t take away precious time from your little loves.  Or document it unconventionally (for instance, through pictures).

3.     It’s ok that you have different wishes for that 2^nd take-home baby… I don’t think I’m a terrible person for wishing that Will wasn’t crawling or trying to pull himself up at 7 months.  I was hoping for another 130 days of a child who doesn’t move.  

4.     Homemade isn’t the only type of food that is made with love- take-out and premade baby food is bought with love straight from my heart.

5.     Naptime does not mean free time anymore.  Because you were 3 ½ when Will was born, you didn’t nap anymore Ellie.  Now I could have told you to rest or have quiet time but I felt a sense of guilt (MOM GUILT… ugh) so when Will sleeps, you and I do arts and crafts or play.  You and I both enjoy this time.  However, when you were a baby, that was the time when I cleaned, read, wrote, checked email, made phone calls… basically I had two times a day where I had a free hour and half to catch up.  

6.     You need to add an extra half hour to your morning routine.  To get an extra person ready for the day, you must add a bit more time.

7.     You need to add a half hour to your bedtime routine for the same reason.

8.     Plan a lot more into your budget.  With a baby like Will, he eats a crazy amount of food.  And with an extra body in the family, you might need a slightly bigger car (baby seats are huge and take up the whole backseat).

9.     Continue being social.  Going out with an extra person is a bit harder, but we still do it (otherwise, we would go crazy).  Invest in a front carrier (which is how I grocery shop with Will while you are in the cart).

10. Meals out to restaurants are really hard.  Will is at the age where he eats quickly (and is really messy) and he doesn’t want to sit still in a high chair.  We don’t mean to bring chaos everywhere we go but frankly, we do now.

11. Visit your family and friends who are far away.  Children grow and change so fast that you want those that mean the most to you to be apart of all the stages.  You and Will just traveled with me to Florida and Philadelphia to see grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins.  Although the travel time can be hectic, it is completely worth all of the happiness and memories we create.  Also invest in an iPad for the journey. 

12. Connect with other moms.  Because my schedule revolves around you and Will, it’s nice to connect with others who can barbeque early because of bedtime and understand meltdowns after lunch playdates.

13. Have a babysitter on your speed-dial who can help you in a pinch (and a back-up)- romantic dates with your husband and girls’ nights out with your friends are a must once a month! 

14. Realize that your living space, no matter how big, will be full of toys and fingerprints (and relish in that moment because you will come to miss those little hands in the years to come).

15. Your purse will become a bag of tricks or Mary Poppins carpet bag depending on the day.  You will dig through toys, wipes, and food when you try to find your wallet when checking out at the grocery store.

16. You will appreciate how powerful your body is physically and emotionally (although mentally, you may feel like you lost a few brain cells).  And you will be so surprised at how little sleep you actually need to function.

17. You realize how much you can tune out… and after bedtime how beautiful silence really is.

18. Confidence (or the act of) in your choices is an art form.  People won’t question your decisions if you are firm. 

19. Try to take family pictures.  It’s hard but you will be so appreciative of them later, especially if they are of your children interacting.  Watching you love Will means so much to me!

20. Mother’s Day is hands down one of the best holidays of the year.

I don’t think I have fully grasped the responsibility of raising two children.  Thank God, I have a village to help me- the women who taught my by example and those who guide me daily.  To all of them, I wish you a Happy Mother’s Day and a big thank you hug!

Love you Ellie,

Mama (as you affectionately call me and I find it so endearing)