Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Final Thoughts Month of May: Blog 3- Letters from Mom & Mimi

Dear Ellie,

Mother’s Day just passed and I wanted to share how we are faring as a family of 4.

Final Thoughts: With regards to children, the hardest transition is going from 0-1. 

After that, it’s all logistics.  In fact, you will feel more comfortable with that 2nd take-home baby- you know what’s normal and what to panic about.  I felt more calm and relaxed with Will.

Bringing home your first take-home baby is life changing.  And just like the first child, adding another takes planning.

1.     Get up to shower before your children.  You will feel much more productive (otherwise, there is no guarantee you will find the time to get dressed).
2.     Don't worry that you don’t document first foods and teeth coming in with that 2nd take-home child.  Baby books and journals are time consuming.  Do what you can but don’t take away precious time from your little loves.  Or document it unconventionally (for instance, through pictures).
3.     It’s ok that you have different wishes for that 2nd take-home baby… I don’t think I’m a terrible person for wishing that Will wasn’t crawling or trying to pull himself up at 7 months.  I was hoping for another 130 days of a child who doesn’t move.  
4.     Homemade isn’t the only type of food that is made with love- take-out and premade baby food is bought with love straight from my heart.
5.     Naptime does not mean free time anymore.  Because you were 3 ½ when Will was born, you didn’t nap anymore Ellie.  Now I could have told you to rest or have quiet time but I felt a sense of guilt (MOM GUILT… ugh) so when Will sleeps, you and I do arts and crafts or play.  You and I both enjoy this time.  However, when you were a baby, that was the time when I cleaned, read, wrote, checked email, made phone calls… basically I had two times a day where I had a free hour and half to catch up.  
6.     You need to add an extra half hour to your morning routine.  To get an extra person ready for the day, you must add a bit more time.
7.     You need to add a half hour to your bedtime routine for the same reason.
8.     Plan a lot more into your budget.  With a baby like Will, he eats a crazy amount of food.  And with an extra body in the family, you might need a slightly bigger car (baby seats are huge and take up the whole backseat).
9.     Continue being social.  Going out with an extra person is a bit harder, but we still do it (otherwise, we would go crazy).  Invest in a front carrier (which is how I grocery shop with Will while you are in the cart).

10. Meals out to restaurants are really hard.  Will is at the age where he eats quickly (and is really messy) and he doesn’t want to sit still in a high chair.  We don’t mean to bring chaos everywhere we go but frankly, we do now.
11. Visit your family and friends who are far away.  Children grow and change so fast that you want those that mean the most to you to be apart of all the stages.  You and Will just traveled with me to Florida and Philadelphia to see grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins.  Although the travel time can be hectic, it is completely worth all of the happiness and memories we create.  Also invest in an iPad for the journey. 

12. Connect with other moms.  Because my schedule revolves around you and Will, it’s nice to connect with others who can barbeque early because of bedtime and understand meltdowns after lunch playdates.
13. Have a babysitter on your speed-dial who can help you in a pinch (and a back-up)- romantic dates with your husband and girls’ nights out with your friends are a must once a month! 
14. Realize that your living space, no matter how big, will be full of toys and fingerprints (and relish in that moment because you will come to miss those little hands in the years to come).
15. Your purse will become a bag of tricks or Mary Poppins carpet bag depending on the day.  You will dig through toys, wipes, and food when you try to find your wallet when checking out at the grocery store.
16. You will appreciate how powerful your body is physically and emotionally (although mentally, you may feel like you lost a few brain cells).  And you will be so surprised at how little sleep you actually need to function.
17. You realize how much you can tune out… and after bedtime how beautiful silence really is.
18. Confidence (or the act of) in your choices is an art form.  People won’t question your decisions if you are firm. 
19. Try to take family pictures.  It’s hard but you will be so appreciative of them later, especially if they are of your children interacting.  Watching you love Will means so much to me!

20. Mother’s Day is hands down one of the best holidays of the year.

I don’t think I have fully grasped the responsibility of raising two children.  Thank God, I have a village to help me- the women who taught my by example and those who guide me daily.  To all of them, I wish you a Happy Mother’s Day and a big thank you hug!

Love you Ellie,
Mama (as you affectionately call me and I find it so endearing)

1 comment:

  1. Some very true thoughts from one who is experiencing those thoughts right now. Brought back long ago memories and also memories from your last visit. Loved the pictures that you included and your very sincere Mother's Day wishes. Love you much, Aunt Phyllis