Dear Ellie,
Mother’s Day just passed and I wanted to share how we are
faring as a family of 4.
Final Thoughts: With
regards to children, the hardest transition is going from 0-1.
After that, it’s all logistics. In fact, you will feel more comfortable with that 2nd
take-home baby- you know what’s normal and what to panic about. I felt more calm and relaxed with Will.
Bringing home your first take-home baby is life changing. And just like the first child, adding
another takes planning.
1.
Get up to shower before your children. You will feel much more productive
(otherwise, there is no guarantee you will find the time to get dressed).
2. Don't worry that you don’t document first foods and
teeth coming in with that 2nd take-home child. Baby books and journals are time
consuming. Do what you can but
don’t take away precious time from your little loves. Or document it unconventionally (for instance, through
pictures).
3.
It’s ok that you have different wishes for that
2nd take-home baby… I don’t think I’m a terrible person for wishing
that Will wasn’t crawling or trying to pull himself up at 7 months. I was hoping for another 130 days of a
child who doesn’t move.
4.
Homemade isn’t the only type of food that is
made with love- take-out and premade baby food is bought with love straight
from my heart.
5.
Naptime does not mean free time anymore. Because you were 3 ½ when Will was born,
you didn’t nap anymore Ellie. Now
I could have told you to rest or have quiet time but I felt a sense of guilt
(MOM GUILT… ugh) so when Will sleeps, you and I do arts and crafts or play. You and I both enjoy this time. However, when you were a baby, that was
the time when I cleaned, read, wrote, checked email, made phone calls…
basically I had two times a day where I had a free hour and half to catch
up.
6.
You need to add an extra half hour to your
morning routine. To get an extra
person ready for the day, you must add a bit more time.
7.
You need to add a half hour to your bedtime
routine for the same reason.
8.
Plan a lot more into your budget. With a baby like Will, he eats a crazy
amount of food. And with an extra
body in the family, you might need a slightly bigger car (baby seats are huge
and take up the whole backseat).
9.
Continue being social. Going out with an extra person is a bit harder, but we still
do it (otherwise, we would go crazy).
Invest in a front carrier (which is how I grocery shop with Will while
you are in the cart).
10. Meals
out to restaurants are really hard.
Will is at the age where he eats quickly (and is really messy) and he
doesn’t want to sit still in a high chair. We don’t mean to bring chaos everywhere we go but frankly,
we do now.
11. Visit
your family and friends who are far away.
Children grow and change so fast that you want those that mean the most
to you to be apart of all the stages.
You and Will just traveled with me to Florida and Philadelphia to see
grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins.
Although the travel time can be hectic, it is completely worth all of
the happiness and memories we create.
Also invest in an iPad for the journey.
12. Connect
with other moms. Because my
schedule revolves around you and Will, it’s nice to connect with others who can
barbeque early because of bedtime and understand meltdowns after lunch
playdates.
13. Have
a babysitter on your speed-dial who can help you in a pinch (and a back-up)-
romantic dates with your husband and girls’ nights out with your friends are a
must once a month!
14. Realize
that your living space, no matter how big, will be full of toys and
fingerprints (and relish in that moment because you will come to miss those
little hands in the years to come).
15. Your
purse will become a bag of tricks or Mary Poppins carpet bag depending on the
day. You will dig through toys,
wipes, and food when you try to find your wallet when checking out at the grocery
store.
16. You
will appreciate how powerful your body is physically and emotionally (although
mentally, you may feel like you lost a few brain cells). And you will be so surprised at how
little sleep you actually need to function.
17. You
realize how much you can tune out… and after bedtime how beautiful silence
really is.
18. Confidence
(or the act of) in your choices is an art form. People won’t question your decisions if you are firm.
19. Try
to take family pictures. It’s hard
but you will be so appreciative of them later, especially if they are of your
children interacting. Watching you
love Will means so much to me!
20. Mother’s
Day is hands down one of the best holidays of the year.
I don’t think I have fully grasped the responsibility of
raising two children. Thank God, I
have a village to help me- the women who taught my by example and those who
guide me daily. To all of them, I
wish you a Happy Mother’s Day and a big thank you hug!
Love you Ellie,
Mama (as you affectionately call me and I find it so
endearing)
Some very true thoughts from one who is experiencing those thoughts right now. Brought back long ago memories and also memories from your last visit. Loved the pictures that you included and your very sincere Mother's Day wishes. Love you much, Aunt Phyllis
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