Friday, April 19, 2013

Life Lesson Month of April: Blog 3- Letters from Mom & Mimi

Good Morning Ellie!

Well after getting dressed this morning, it became quite apparent to me as to what my blog will be about this week.

Life Lesson Learned #7:  There really is a Muffin-Top fairy.

Yep.  There is Ellie.  I know this because she apparently came and visited late last night while I was sound asleep.  I think she probably poked me once or twice, giggled out her magical words “Hoo-hoo, hee-hee” while swooshing her fairy wand all around my hips, thighs and abdomen.  And then ‘poof’ disappeared before I awoke.  I’ve come to this conclusion because I tried putting on a pair of my jeans this morning and for some reason they were not sliding over my hips like they are supposed to.  I thought to myself, “Humph… that is odd,” thinking that maybe I put them in the dryer on a heat-setting that is a tad bit higher than I normally would use… maybe they just shrunk a little (just so you know Ellie that when it comes to ‘the female gender, clothes, and weight’, there is no rational thinking… I have never adjusted the heat setting on my dryer for anything, ever!).  Anyway back to getting dressed this morning, my common sense was telling me that my ‘tight’ jeans were definitely the dryer’s fault… and Poppy’s too, because he is the only other one living in this house that could have changed its settings.  So I lay on the bed and slid my jeans on that way.  And guess what?  No problem!  I was even able to snap them!  Then I went to sit up and oh my… it was not a pretty site.  Ellie, like a fresh loaf of bread rising in the oven, my mid-section was slowly bubbling up and spilling over my jeans’ waistband, hence giving me the appearance of a ‘muffin top.’  I thought; how could this be?  We are finally on the tail of winter and I just put away my cozy pullover sweaters.  Could the Muffin-Top fairy have heard my constant complaining each and everyday for the last five months about how chilly I have been?  Did she think she was doing me a favor by giving me an added layer of fat to keep me warm?  Spring is coming which means thin-fabric T-shirts and tank tops!  So why would she visit me now instead of last November?  Is she following an alphabetical list and I just so happen to be one of the last women on it?  Doesn’t she know that it is impolite to visit someone unannounced?  How could she do this to me?  Who does that?  Oh… I know.  Her cousin the Dimple fairy arrives unannounced too (and I am not talking about those cute little dimples that you see on pretty faces!).  She never called me either, she just showed up late one night a few years (ok, many years) back and splashed the back of my legs with those so-called indents.  For some reason they aren’t as attractive from the rear view.  All I can say is thank heavens for peddle-pushers, aka very long shorts, as they are back in style!  OK… I seem to have gone off track again and need to refocus this blog back to muffin tops.  The problem is that the Muffin-Top fairy’s services are apparently non-refundable, as no one that I know of has ever seen her, nor does anyone know where she lives for that matter.  So I guess I am going to have to take matters into my own hands and trim down this new cupcake look that I am sporting.  And that would be with exercise.  (Ahhhh… another blog idea on a Life Lesson Learned:  Exercise; Oh how I hate to sweat!  I’ll save that one for a later date.)  Right now I think you, your mommy and I will start walking again.  There are certainly enough hills in this neighborhood to get our heart rates up.  Maybe in a month or two I will be able to tuck my shirts in and not feel so self-conscious.

So I guess the lesson to be learned here Ellie-Bean is; if you want to avoid a visit from the Muffintop fairy; you need to stay fit from the get-go.  Run around outside, play sports, be active, eat healthy, get enough rest and love life.  If you follow these simple suggestions I am pretty sure you won’t receive any surprise visits in the middle of the night during your lifetime.  So get your bike ready Bean because tomorrow is our first official day to walk.  But right now I am going to eat one of those cranberry muffins you and your Mommy baked last week as they are mmmm… mmmm delicious (it is definitely better to eat the muffins than to wear them!).
Love you El!

1 comment:

  1. Ha Ha Loved this lesson Mickey. You really have a talent to write stories. The descrptions from the beginning were so funny. Love this lessons learned.