Friday, March 15, 2013
Life Lessons Month of March: Blog 3- Letters from Mom & Mimi
The other day we went to a play date and you weren’t very social or pleasant to the children or their mother. So on the way home, we had a discussion in the car that when we are at someone else’s house, we need to be polite and we can’t be mean. Your response was, “Well, accidents happen.” Either you are too smart for your own good by transcending definition boundaries or else I need to be more obvious in my attempts at explaining how the world works! By the time you are old enough to read these letters, I hope that your shyness wears are off some and that people see the happy, carefree child I know and I love!
So this week’s topic:
Life Lessons Learned #2: Understanding how authority works through a child’s eyes!
I don’t believe in hitting or spanking Ellie. When you misbehave, I try to say, “I love you but I don’t like what you’re doing when…” but frankly sometimes when you have a typical 2-year-old meltdown, a time out is needed for both you and me. I carry you to your room and tell you that as soon as you are calmed down and you can say you are sorry, then you may come out. Because of your incredibly stubborn personality, you could be in your room for upwards of twenty minutes before you apologize. And then later, usually before bed when you aren’t emotional, we will talk about what happened. I also try to role-play with you to show how you could have handled a situation.
For instance, while visiting an aunt recently in Philly, I asked you to play with your toys in her living room while I had some adult conversation time with her in the dining room. You flipped out and when I gave you a warning you shouted “NO! NOOOOOOO! NOOOOOOOOOOO!” as if you were possessed! So off you went to time out until you could apologize to my aunt and I and play in the living room (it took many minutes El!). Later that night, we talked about what happened and I said, “Ellie sometimes adults need their time and you have to wait so when I ask you to do something, I need you to do it. I don’t like it when you scream at me and don’t listen.” Your response was this, “Well, I don’t like it when you are mean to me.” Looking at it from your perspective, you are our only living child so we spoil you, we talk to you like you are a grown-up so the few times that I don’t include you, you get your feelings hurt.
Ellie I really love that you have the opportunity to have your voice heard and have an opinion of your own. You are so smart and you are rationalizing so well at such a young age, but I have to learn to teach you the fine line for you to understand authority too! You my dear child are very difficult and strong willed and I love that so much about you, but I fear it’s also going to be the death of me! I can only imagine our arguments when you are fifteen!
I love you Bean! Mom
PS- A moment to remember... You are learning to write you name!!! I am so proud of you!