Thursday, August 29, 2013

Life Lesson Month of August: Blog 5- Letters from Mom & Mimi

You and Joe are exploring your new house!
Dear Angel,

And when I call you my Angel, I mean that so sincerely right now… you have been one in every sense of the word as your Dad and I have completely disrupted your world with a big house move and the impending birth of your brother.  You have gone along with everything we have asked you and you transitioned so seamlessly- even sleeping perfectly in your new room complete with your new bed since day one.

And now that we are just about settled in our new place, we are anxiously awaiting the newest member of our family.  I am in crazy nesting mode (which combined with my Type A personality made it possible for us to be completely unpacked in our new house in 2 days… yes, 2 days- all the boxes were emptied and organized including all of the baby’s clothes (through 24 months) which I washed and folded).  And now, it’s time to hang the pictures.  This is where your Dad and my parents keep telling me that I have a lifetime here in the house to put it together… there is no rush.  But for me, that’s always been a challenge.

Life Lessons Learned #26:  As my Dad always says (but doesn’t always do), enjoy the ride Ellie.

The one area where I feel like I am actually taking his advice is with this pregnancy.  I know it’s my last baby so I am in no hurry to deliver.  Aside from Kyle’s genetic issues, pregnancy for me has always been easy on my body.  I am probably one of the few people who really loves being pregnant all the way through.  I am excited to have a bump, feel kicks and hiccups, and see the ripple of movement on my stomach when your brother turns.  My pregnancies are also the few times in my life where I have truly felt beautiful- like this is what my body was made for.  I think there really is something to that line about pregnant women glowing.  It’s when I feel the most strong and purposeful.   And I can’t lie… I love devouring a large order of cheese fries for dinner without anyone judging!

Seeing how visibly pregnant I am often garnishes many stares and comments, namely being, “You must be so ready to have this baby!” but my answer is always the same, “Not yet.”  I will miss these days of flutters, just as I did with you and Kyle.  I remember waking up some nights after you were both born and my immediate thought was that your kicks in my belly awoke me but then I quickly realized that wasn’t it and it made me a bit melancholy and wistful.  Don’t misunderstand me, I am so anxious to meet this little boy in my tummy just as I was with you and Kyle but I am enjoying the journey of waiting for him to come.    

Of course, I wonder what he will look like (will he be my one baby to have hair as I have had much more acid reflex in this pregnancy than the prior two?) and what will his personality be like (will he be more quiet like Kyle or serious like you?).  But I will have my answers soon enough and I am ok to wait because I will never get this time back.  My body will never feel another baby within it and that’s ok.  Our family is complete and I feel whole.   

Always take it one day at a time, despite how difficult that may be (as I am off to hang more pictures).

I love you Bean!

1 comment:

  1. Kim as usual your description is so heartwarming. We all do need to enjoy the ride and not live in the future or the past but the present.
    You children have always felt your unconditional love which you so generously give with all your heart.