Life Lesson Month of October: Blog 3- Letters from Mom & Mimi

Dear Love Bug,

Having Will here these past few weeks made me reflect on when you were a baby.  I so wanted to treasure every second with you, as I knew each moment would go by too fast.  That’s how our blogs started Ellie.  I sat down one night when your Dad was out of the country on business and I wrote you a letter.  It wasn’t a long letter but it detailed my wishes, hopes, and dreams for you.  In fact, I couldn’t tell you exactly what was in it because I purposely didn’t save it on the computer.  I printed it, sealed it in an envelope, labeled it with a date to open twenty years in the future, and put it in your jewelry box for safekeeping.  And that made me think that one letter probably wouldn’t suffice so your Mimi and I put our heads together.  And hence the birth of this blog as our gift to you was born.

Life Lessons Learned #33: Document moments that you want to savor.

I have a funny feeling that you and Will are going to be opposites.  The first two weeks with you Ellie were so telling of your future personality… I must preface by saying that I also tried to breastfeed you and my milk never fully came in so that might have been some of the problem.  For those first days at home, you never slept.  You constantly had a grumpy face on (that your Mimi affectionately called your Walter face after Jeff Dunham’s ventriloquist doll).  You were about 8 weeks old when you first smiled and even now, you really make people work to see that gorgeous grin of yours, my serious girl.  Your beautiful eyes were open from the instant you entered the world and rarely shut since.

As for Will, he sleeps and eats.  Right after he eats, he sleeps.  You don’t get to see his eyes too often yet as they are always closed.  Your Dad and I got more sleep in the first night with him than all four nights in the hospital with you combined.  And now that we are home, he gets up only twice a night to eat and dozes right after.  Your Dad had a week of paternity leave and it was very much like a staycation as we were all so well rested!  Will has been smiling and giggling in these first few weeks.  He was even cooing since his birth and hasn’t stopped “talking” since.  I don’t think we have heard him cry aside for asking for food.  His demeanor is so calm and mellow.  In fact, the running joke in the family has been, “Where’s Will?” as he is often so quiet that when one of us puts him down in his crib, swing, or bassinette, the other doesn’t know where to look first!    

Now, I’m not saying that one experience is better than the other.  Ellie, I think both are all about bonding in different ways and learning how to be a good parent in varying circumstances.  With you Ellie, I could tell that you would wear your emotions on your sleeve, you would be independent, strong, and hot-headed, and you wouldn’t please people for their own sake.  As for Will, I think he is going to be my easy-going, friendly, relaxed, and even-tempered child.  I think the both of you will balance each other out very well and I am so blessed to have a taste of both of your extremes!

Even your Mimi made a comment about how different I am with Will than I was with you- that I rarely rock him when I hold him whereas with you, I bounced you constantly to try to pacify you.  You have always had high expectations my dear girl!

Although we are keeping our blog for you, I do think I need to write Will a letter just as I did for you initially.  So here’s what I want him to know.

My Love, My Will,

I never imagined that I would get a chance to have another son.  When we found out that you were a boy at our 20-week gestational appointment, I couldn’t stop crying happy tears.  I would have been grateful for any healthy child but to have a chance with a little boy again was beyond imaginable.  When Kyle died, I not only grieved for the son that I lost but also for the memories that I would never get to have with him, like dancing to the mother-son song at his wedding or cheering him on at baseball games.  Now Will, I promise that I will never put my dreams of Kyle on you but know that because of Kyle, I will cherish each moment I have with you.  And those memories I never got to have with Kyle may look completely different with you (perhaps you won’t get married or you will be into theater instead of sports), but I will appreciate, treasure, and support you (as long as you try your best and you are kind-hearted).

Just as with Ellie, I want you find happiness and love.  I want you to have compassion and empathy. I want you to have a relationship with God and believe in the power of prayer- faith is a gift.  I want you to be grateful and appreciative for what you have.  Be sure to take responsibility for all of your actions and know when to say I’m sorry.  In the same breath, learn how to forgive- no one is perfect so leave the judging to a higher power.  I want you to understand that you can be the catalyst for change, you can be a leader, and you can make the world a better place.  Believe in yourself, rely on your instincts, and trust your intuition.  Be an active member in society and our family.  Don’t underestimate the importance of education and hard work.  Please understand that contentment does not have to come at someone else’s expense.         

  

Now as you are lying in my lap at almost three weeks old (and smiling and giggling in your sleep), I am saying aloud as I type, “You are so very loved.”  You are one-of-a-kind, so special, and I feel blessed that you, your brother, and your sister were given to me.

I love you Will-Will,

Mom

Ellie, life goes by too fast so be sure you take the time to note and remember those moments that you make you laugh and love not only for yourself but for your posterity. 

Love you Bean,

Mom 

Life Lesson Month of October: Blog 2- Letters from Mom & Mimi

Hello my adorable “chit-chat girlfriend!”

(You will understand the salutation I chose by a certain event that happened this past weekend while watching you and of course it’s one that I can’t resist writing about!) But first let me explain what prompted this blog.

Ellie, about a month ago while your Dad was away on a business trip, your Mommy and you came over for a Saturday night sleepover.  It was a weekend filled with lots of giggles, and oodles of activities.  But the very best part of that Saturday was actually bedtime.  We conned Poppy into sleeping in Ryan’s old bedroom so that us three girls could have the big king bed.  

As we settled in under the covers Poppy plugged in your Disney Princess nightlight for us and turned off the overhead light.  I don’t think he wanted to be alone because he started making hand-puppet shadows in the nightlight’s circle and that prompted you to get out of bed and hang out with Poppy for a while trying your own hand at finger animals!  Anyway, once we got you back in bed and situated in the middle, we had to play the Brain-Game, also known as 20 Questions, but with a 3 year old it is more like 3 or 4 Questions Max!  Here was your choice question… Ellie: What is stinky?  It’s a skunk.  Mimi: Mmmmm… I don’t know.  Can you give me another hint?  Ellie:  Yes.  It’s black and white.  Mimi:  Is it an animal?  Ellie:  Yes. It’s a skunk.  Mimi: Mmmmmm… I think I know.  Ellie: What is it?  Mimi:  Is it a a a skunk?  Ellie: YES!!!!!!!  It IS a skunk!”  You said with great satisfaction.  See, even with your ‘tell-all’ answer, the 3^rd round is the perfect time to guess correctly!  Ellie, sometimes you are just too funny!  Well, eventually you tired of that game, so we had to play the Star-Light Star-Bright Game where we get to wish for something special, something silly, or something that doesn’t make any sense, just as long as it prolongs the inevitable… going to sleep.  When your Mommy and I put an end to that game you reminded us that we had to say our prayers.  So as we began to recite the Hail Mary, you grabbed your mommy’s hand and also mine.  After finishing, you looked at each of us and with a smile and made a very adult and thought provoking statement.  You said, “Look Mommy.  Look Mimi.  When we hold hands together we are connected.”  And that we are Ellie.  Yes indeed.

Life Lessons Learned #32:  A forever connection starts with a simple touch.

Ellie, you will find this blog entry quite lengthy, but it is because I want to share some of the special moments or rather the connection that comes so easily to you and I.  So I will start by telling you about the weekend your baby brother Will was born.  Poppy and I had the honor of watching you for the few days your Mommy and Daddy stayed at the hospital.  And what a wonderful experience it was.  We could have titled the weekend Ellie Rules, because with Poppy and me you are the Princess and we are your Royal Subjects always at your beck-n-call!  Before taking you to the hospital where your Daddy excitedly scooped you up into his arms anxious to have you meet your little brother, I made sure you had a gift for him because Will made sure to have a gift for you!  From what I have heard, you were quite pleased with the even-exchange… Will getting a talking huggable dog and you receiving a life-like baby Will!  This new baby of yours came back to my house where we played pretend house until Ryan and Sammy came over that evening.  Now Ellie, I know you took an immediate liking to your new-baby brother, but the life-like Will doll did not get quite that same attention.  While playing house, your baby Will whom you said was just born, spent numerous times in “Time-Out.”  Apparently he was not listening to you, he was not taking his bottle when you fed him and he was somehow doing things he wasn’t suppose to be doing (not exactly sure what that could be since he is made of plastic!  Poor little guy!).  Thankfully Sammy and Ryan stopped by and distracted you with a surprise.   Sammy gave you an awesome present for being a new Big Sister… stickers, jump-rope, paddleball, catch a fish, a growing sponge seahorse and the biggest hit of all, Silly String which you excitedly sprayed at us 4 adults!  

The pretend Will came outside to play with all of us too but was dropped like a football more times than not (I think we may have to work a bit more on compassion with your dolls, as your connection with them isn’t always consistent)!  Anyway, later that evening after your Aunt and Uncle departed, we turned our living room into a massive tent, got out the sleeping bags, some popcorn and Doritos and turned off all the overhead lights so that the flashlights were much more effective.  Poppy gave up on us and went to bed while we told each other stories and giggled for a few hours. Thankfully by 11:00 pm you opted to sleep in a real bed (and my back is forever grateful to you El!).  And the part I treasure most is when you held my hand right before you fell soundly asleep.  Saturday was a fun day as well.  We started the morning off by visiting your Mommy, Daddy, and Will at the hospital.  Surprisingly you wanted to stay for quite sometime and of course we let you.  Your comfort level was in a good place Ellie, especially with your Mommy.  And you thought you were pretty grown up when you had the honor of feeding Will!  El, you are going to be an amazing Big Sister… Will is going to love you so!  But back to the days events.  Around 11:30 am you finally decided that we could go to the Penny Carnival that was taking place at the library in Centre Hall.  As an adult, my take on it was ‘corny but cute.’  Your take on it was ‘Jackpot!’  We stayed for quite awhile Ellie while you played all the outdoor 1cent games.   And with every game’s win, came a special prize that excited you more than the one before!  It was the perfect place to take a young child!  From there we went to McDonald’s where you insisted that we sit at the high-top table with pink spinning stools.  After opening up both yours and my Happy Meals so that we could dig into some yummy hamburgers and apple slices, you stopped me.  You said with your hands animating dramatic expression, “Mimi let’s chit-chat for awhile.”  I blinked and said, “Chit-chat?”  You answered, “Yes.  I’ll tell you about my friend Cassidy.”  Ellie I had to stifle a giggle because I swear you sounded like a young teenager.  So I said, “Ok.  What’s up with Cassidy?”  You responded, “Welllllll, she said she was going to follow us.  And we told her she couldn’t follow us, but she followed us anyway.”  I answered with, “ Who’s us?”  Which you quickly responded, “Kalena and me.” So I asked what I thought was an intelligent question, “Where were you all going?”  And with an exasperated look you threw your hands up and flipped your wrists while answering, “Nowhere!  She just wouldn’t listen!  And I told her!”  I responded with a shake of my head and a puckered face, “Wellllll, that was some nerve.  You agreed with a strong and somewhat frustrated, “Yes!”  So I gingerly continued with, “I hope everyone was still nice to her.”  You then softened a bit and finished with, “Yes. We were nice.”  And then you proceeded to eat your Happy Meal!  Ellie, I was so glad we had the chance to “chit-chat” and clear up the Cassidy confusion!   Because finally we were able to move on to matters much more important…  like playing with our Happy Meal Wizard of Oz prize figurines (and just so you know, it is moments like these that are priceless to me)!  After leaving McDonald’s we swung by Gymboree because I wanted to get you some new pants, which was prompted by a meeting of the minds, that you and I had earlier that morning.  You insisted that your Mommy said you could wear shorts even though it was probably 50 degrees outside.  I told you that I didn’t think so and no you were not wearing shorts because it is no longer summertime.  Let me just say El, you are one very strong-minded individual but since I have 50 plus years on you…. I won.  Well… when I look at it now, I think you actually won because you walked out of that store with a pair of low-heeled red-paten leather Dorothy shoes, frilly ivory socks and a blue ‘twirl’ dress (which was not on my original purchasing list!)  

From there we went back to the hospital to visit with your Mommy as she and Will were by themselves for two hours.  It was then that your comfort level went completely back to normal as you snuggled up to your Mom on her bed, you got and gave her numerous hugs and you interacted with Will in such a loving and caring way. 

When you were ready to leave we traveled back to my house where we ate dinner and then played something new.  Nail Salon!  My friend and your Mommy’s boss, Susan, gave you a package kit with 5 miniature nail polishes for being a new “Big Sister.”  So you pretended to be Tina the Nail Lady and decided that my name was to be Miss Kim.  I took my socks off to get ready for my pedicure but you quickly informed me that you had to paint your own toenails first and I had to just wait (hmmmmm, I am thinking that there will probably be a ‘Business 101’ class somewhere in your future Ellie!  After all, what kind of salon stays in business with that kind of service???!!!).  Yes, I waited.  After a good thirty minutes, it was finally my turn. You started off with painting my toenails and my left hand an array of colors.  They reminded me of a rainbow.  As I held out my right hand for you to paint next, the look on your face told me that there was going to be a change in plans (you obviously were done playing this game and I had to beg you to finish).  I was relieved to see you pick up the red nail polish bottle and paint my pinky, but then I was shocked when you continued on to my ring finger.  I tried to stop you by asking for green instead but you forcefully stated a very strong “NO, you get red and that is all!”  So my middle finger, my forefinger and lastly, my thumb all ended up red.  You then charged me $4.00 and said you quit!  Oh to be 3!   

Now I shall jump to Sunday.  Since your Dad was bringing your Mommy and Will home from the hospital on Sunday afternoon, they wanted you home with them too.  So we only had a few hours left of playing time before we needed to return you to your family.  Ellie, the one thing you absolutely love to do is go down into our basement where I have your craft area set up.  I thought it would be fun to make a turkey hat and you agreed.  But never in a million years did I think the turkey would be as unique as it ended up.  Ellie, you were insistent that the turkey had to have boogers, and blue ones at that so it was the first part of its face that you created.  You then put its eyes where its mouth should have been.  Once the bird was completed, I tried it on your head.  Well, that didn’t last very long.  Not liking the way it felt, you whipped it off and said that you were going to give it to your Mom instead (so we both agreed that it would be a Great Welcome Home Mom present!). 

Well El, our fun weekend adventure had to come to an end eventually.  And for me, it ended in the most heartwarming way.  After driving to your home across town and guiding you out of the car-seat you took my hand in yours and we walked to your front door.  As I looked down at your hand in mine I realized that a ‘simple touch’ goes much deeper.  For you my dear Ellie-bean have not only touched my heart but my soul too.  Yes, Ellie, you are wise beyond your years.  A connection can be forever if you never let go.

Love you girlfriend!

Mimi

Life Lessons Month of October: Blog 1- Letters from Mom & Mimi

Dear Big Sister,

Your brother Will was born at 7:44am on Friday, September 27 (weighing 7lbs, 3 oz and measuring 20.5in).  His birth was filled with much anticipation and anxiety (just as yours was as we have always been so nervous after losing your brother Kyle).  The hospital team was fantastic and Will was delivered with 80’s music in the background while I was holding onto your Dad’s hand.  Will had a full head of black hair (which I predicted with all of my acid reflux these past few months) and the loudest cry (which was the best sound ever).  After a quick clean-up, he was brought right over to me for skin-to-skin time as I was stitched up and that was heaven.  I said with you and Kyle, “I wonder what he/she looks like?”  It was a silly question to ask for all three of my children.  Just as with you and Kyle, when Will was born and brought over to me, it was like I knew him my whole life.  I knew all of my children and felt an instant connection.

Your Dad has been amazing- not only giving me reassurance to calm my nerves prior to delivery but in the days after as my body healed.  He became Mr. Mom and took care of all the household chores and became my nurse.  With all of my children, your Dad never leaves my side in the hospital.  He changes diapers, does the night feedings, and he is hands down the world’s best swaddler!  He truly gives of himself to his children and I. 

But really, what a week this has been for you… and you handled all of the changes so gracefully, maturely, and happily. 

Life Lessons Learned #31: Acceptance and love defy age.

The night before Will was born, we asked your Mimi and Poppy to pick you up for a sleepover at their house, as my c-section was scheduled very early last Friday.  They dropped you off at school to keep you in routine and for them to have a chance to make sure everything with the baby and I were ok.  Once I got out of recovery, they picked you up and brought you to the hospital to meet your new baby brother.

That first visit was a little hard for you (and me too I might add).  When you got into the room and saw me, you were very stand-offish… and I would have been the same way.  After having major abdominal surgery, I definitely wasn’t at my best and certainly couldn’t greet you in the way I wish I could have.  I had tubes and wires all over and leg compressors that looked and sounded really scary.  You kept your distance but were brave enough to stay for forty-five minutes.  We gave you your own newborn boy baby doll, that you also called Will and you mimicked everything we did with our real Will on your Will (feeding him, burping him).  But I have to say you were a bit less gentle with your Will (half the time, you forgot he was your baby and he was dangling from your hand upside down). 

Day 2 was a lot better.  To start, I was disconnected from all machines and I was showered so I looked and felt much better.  You came in for a morning visit and an afternoon visit that day and by the end, you were hugging me good-bye and felt much more comfortable.  In fact, you pinched your finger in the door on your way out and you only wanted me.  When I came to you (very slowly I might add), you said through tears, “I know you can’t pick me up but can you just give me a big hug?”  I didn’t want to let you go.  Your visits on this day were a lot more hands on with Will too.  You wanted to feed him and hold him yourself… and you were so gentle and sweet with him.  Ellie, Will is so blessed to have you as a big sister.

I was discharged on the third day, so your Mimi and Poppy dropped you off in the afternoon, which gave your Dad and I time to unpack and get organized beforehand.  You came in with so much more luggage than I sent you off with… I could tell you must have been super spoiled with your weekend away (and I will let Mimi tell you all about that in your next letter).  But know that I appreciated that you helped your Mimi and Poppy grocery shop and stock our refrigerator and cabinets for when we got home.  And I love that your Mimi got us balloons that you two hung on our mailbox to celebrate Will’s arrival.

The first night as a family of four in our home was by far the best ever.  I’m still in awe as I look at you and Will, both of my beautiful, healthy children.  Before we started your bedtime routine, you asked if you could read a story to Will.  You went upstairs on your own, picked one out, stood next to his crib and recited a beautiful story (even showing him the pictures).

The next morning, while I showered, I put Will in his vibrating chair and when I came out, you were laying next to him with your blanket and pillow watching him.  You told me that you were having a sleepover!

But the most endearing moment you had with Will is when he was starting to fuss last night while on my bed (I was changing into my pj’s and you were sitting next to him as I dressed).  You went over to my nightstand and got the piece of Kyle’s blanket that I saved.  You put it to Will’s heart and then his cheek.  You said, “Mommy tells me that this makes everything all better.”  Needless to say, I couldn’t stop crying but you, Ellie, knew immediately that my tears were happy tears (you know about Kyle’s blanket because you saw it a few weeks ago and asked me about it.  You wanted to play with it but I said it couldn’t leave my bedroom.  But I also added that at anytime when you are sad you can come in and put it to your heart or cheek for Kyle to give you strength.  More often than not, you use it to comfort yourself when I brush your hair!).

Since being home, you have been the biggest help to me- getting me bottles, diapers, clothes.  And you know that I have my limits with what I can do so you never ask me to come back upstairs after I put you to bed.  You are so compassionate Ellie.  With me, you ask if I need to hold your hand as I stand up from a chair (you can see the pain on my face I guess) or you offer your help when I am walking up the stairs.  You show such tenderness and kindness when you not only kiss your brother but you kiss my shirt where my “boo-boo” is.  Yes, Love really does make everything all better.

At three and a half Ellie, you have embraced Will just like your Dad and I did.  You have become his other mother and his protector.

 

I love you my sweetest angel,

Mom

Life Lessons Month of September: Blog 4- Letters from Mom & Mimi

Dear Big Sister,

Tomorrow marks a special day in our family…

Life Lessons Learned #30: A mother’s heart is limitless and unconditional.

Your brother is being born tomorrow morning!  You are just as excited as your Dad and I and I am so happy that you don’t feel threatened or jealous.  Know that you have a special place in our family and in my heart.  You were the one who brought light into my life after Kyle, the one who makes me smile everyday, and the one who keeps me on my toes each minute.  You are going to be such a good big sister for this baby! 

After Kyle was born, I was just about sure my heart couldn’t feel any more love and affection (your Dad agreed, he told me after Kyle died that he was afraid he wouldn’t be able to love another as much as Kyle but you my Dear Girl taught us both that love is unbounded and vast if you have an open heart and mind).  And now your new brother is reinforcing that point… Love really is infinite.

Our family unit is complete now.  You and I have something in common, we both now have younger siblings!  I adore having a ‘little’ brother.  Yes, I bossed Uncle Ryan around relentlessly when we were kids but the bond we share is like no other.  And that’s what I want you to have with your brother… despite your three and half-year age gap.  I hope you support him, be patient with him, care for him and love him.  I am sure you will make him your student in your classroom, dress him up in your princess clothes, and make him sit through your restaurant games.  But I envision him idolizing you, my Dear Girl.  Yes, I know you will fight and argue as that is part of the territory (I have the bite mark scars on my arm from your Uncle Ryan to prove it) but accept your brother as someone who will be with you for life.

In these next few weeks as we adjust to our new life as a family of 4 (not to forget our angel Kyle watching us grow from above), be tolerant Ellie, as growing pains are often part of the process.  My love for you will change just as it always has (I love you deeper as each day passes.  Even though I continue to think it’s not possible to love you anymore than I already do, I am continually proven wrong).  You are my world Ellie- never forget that (I won’t let you).

Love you my Sweet Girl,

Mom  

Life Lessons Month of September: Blog 3- Letters from Mom & Mimi

Hi Ellie (I can’t say good morning as I am writing this blog late in the day.)! 

I’ve been procrastinating a bit as I have a doozy of a head cold, which is my excuse for not being able to focus for very long!  Anyway, I have two ideas to go with.  The first has to do with “connections” and will take some very deep thought… the second is about nonsensical giggling.  I think I am going to go with the second idea, as I know it will distract me from my annoying runny nose, which has been interfering with my “deep level thinking stage” all day! … Or so I would like to believe!   So here goes:

Life Lessons Learned #29:  There is always a time and a place to be silly!

As always my dear Ellie, it is you who inspires me.  After leaving church today your Mommy and I decided to stop at Pier 1 to do a quick power shopping venture.  On the way there, your Mommy was reminding me of some important ‘happenings’ that I should enter in my blog if I went with my first idea.   One of her suggestions was a brain-game that the three of us played during our sleepover (which I will share in my next blog).  But the quick mention of the word “cow” from the animal category in the brain-game triggered another memory for you that was in the form of a joke.  And you asked your Mommy to repeat it, which was then followed by a whole slew of silly anecdotes that each of us took turns asking the other.  The first one was of course told by your Mommy and went like this:

Mommy:  Where do cows go on date night?

Ellie:  The barn?

Mimi:  The pasture?

Mommy:  Nope.  The MOOvies!

Ellie and Mimi: Ha, ha, ha, ha!

Ellie’s turn.

Ellie: Knock knock.

Mommy and Mimi:  Who’s there?

Ellie: Shut the door!

Mommy, Mimi and Ellie: Ha, ha, ha, ha!

Mimi’s turn.

Mimi:  Knock knock.

Ellie and Mommy: Who’s there?

Mimi: Queen.

Ellie and Mommy: Queen who?

Mimi: Queen the dishes please!

Ellie and Mommy:  Ha, ha, ha, ha!

Ellie’s turn.

Ellie:  What am I… the good witch?

Mommy:  I give up.

Mimi:  I give up too.

Ellie: I’m Glenda!

Mommy, Mimi and Ellie:  Ha, ha, ha, ha!

Mommy’s Turn.

Mommy: What did the sad ghost say?

Mimi: Waa, Waa?

Ellie:  Boo Hoo?

Mommy:  Yeahhhhh…. Ellie you are right!

Mimi and Ellie:  Ha, ha, ha, ha!

Ellie’s turn.

Ellie:  Do you have a frigerator?

Mommy and Mimi:  Yes I do.

Ellie:  Is your frigerator running?

Mommy and Mimi:  Yes it is.

Ellie:  Better catch it!

Mommy, Mimi and Ellie:  Ha, ha, ha, ha!

Mimi’s Turn.

Mimi:  What did the bird say on Halloween?

Mommy:  Chirp, chirp?

Ellie:  I don’t know.

Mimi:  Trick or Tweet!

Mommy and Ellie:  Ha, ha, ha, ha!

Ellie’s Turn.

Ellie:  What am I… the bad witch?

Mommy:  Glenda?

Ellie:  Nope.

Mimi:  The wicked witch of the West?

Ellie:  pause … pause some more

Ellie:  YESSSSS Mimi… you’re right!

Mommy, Mimi and Ellie:  Ha, ha, ha, ha!

Ellie…  upon arriving at Pier 1 we thought it best to put these silly jokes on hold while we shopped, but we quickly resumed them per your request as soon as we got back into the car.  And the more we told, the sillier they got as we drove home.  The Lesson Learned here? … Nonsensical giggling is not only the best medicine for distractions of such things like the common cold, but nonsensical giggling can also start your day out on a perfect note!  Thanks El!   A dose of you makes my whole day happy even when I am not feeling my best!

I love you my little Lucille Ball!

Mimi

Life Lessons Month of September: Blog 2- Letters from Mom & Mimi

Dear Ellie Bean,

Getting this close to your brother’s birth is making me think back to Kyle’s delivery and yours Ellie and how grateful I was to have your Mimi stay with me a few weeks after each of you.

My Mom was such a big help but in the quietest way.  She cooked dinners every night, did our laundry, cleaned the house, drove me where I needed to be after my C-section, and never once tried to take the baby from us unless we asked her to (and she would softly retreat to her room to work, read, or make phone calls so that Justin and I could bond privately with the baby).  I can’t tell you how much I appreciated that.  So for you Ellie, use this list I’ve compiled when you have a baby for you to politely tell people how to respect your boundaries.

Life Lessons Learned #28: Be honest and tell people how you feel after you have a baby.

Here’s a list that I’ve generated that I hope family and friends will honor:

1.     Please remember to give attention to my oldest child too.  In fact, before approaching the baby, acknowledge Ellie.  She is feeling new emotions and figuring out her new place- help her feel wanted, included, and loved.

2.     Please don’t try to take the baby out of my arms so I can “get things done.”  If you are offering help, please let me bond with my baby and think of something that might need tending to.    

3.     Please don’t stay too long, newborns' sleep patterns are exhausting and we need to adjust to our new schedule and routine.

4.     Please don’t just pop in unannounced.  Showers and the condition of my house are not quite up to par after having a baby so some notice is appreciated.

5.     Ask me what it is that I need, don’t assume.

6.     If you are on your way to the grocery store, call me and ask if I need anything.  I will pay you back but not being able to drive for two weeks after a C-section makes it difficult to stay prepared.

7.     Maternity leave can be isolating so please think of us in the weeks after the birth.

Ellie, giving birth is an exciting time but it can also be stressful.  Maintain open and honest relationships with family and friends in those days and weeks after (particularly when sleep deprivation can bring out the not so good in all of us!).

I love you Ellie!

Mom

Life Lesson Month of September: Blog 1- Letters from Mom & Mimi

Hello my precious Ellie, with all of your Ellie-isms!

Not only do I love to play with you each and every day, I also love to just sit and chat with you.  It is during these imaginative conversations, serious conversations, sweet conversations and our question and answer seeking conversations that you have ‘Wowed me,’ ‘Delighted me,’ ‘Surprised me,’ and yes… ‘Stumped me’ at times too!  And I particularly enjoy how you have created your own version of certain word pronunciations, which are quite unique I might add!  Ellie, that led me to thinking of how different the English language is translated not only by children, but also by people of all ages located in different regions of the United States.  I thought it would be fun to write about words that you have created as well as words that your Poppy (who is a native of Philadelphia, Pa.) pronounces and also myself (being a native of the Midwest – Wisconsin.)  So here goes:

Life Lesson Learned #27: It is normal for most people to “tweak” the English language now and then, but what is important is that we understand the “tweaking.”

Ellie, the other day when you and I were spending time playing school at your house, I had to stop for a moment and wash something in the upstairs bathroom sink.  You followed me in and asked if you could help me.  Normally I would say yes but this time I hesitated, because I knew you were too short to reach the spickets and I couldn’t find anything nearby that would give you a boost (silly me for not realizing that you were already one step ahead of me!).  As I began answering you with a, “How about next time El?”… You responded with, “Wait Mimi, I can help.  I’ll go get my stoodle,” and off you ran.  You got me there Ellie.  Completely perplexed I answered you with, “Your what???”  And that fast you returned with a big smile on your face and a response of, “My stoodle.  It’s right here!”  Sure enough, you carried into the bathroom what looked to be like a little black plastic box.  You quickly opened it wide so that its legs snapped into place and set it down in front of the sink so that you could step onto your stool like a big girl to help me out.  Ahhhhhhhh… the stoodle… I should have known! 

On another day while I was hanging pictures in the master bathroom, you came in with a mouthful of pink bubblegum.  Not wanting to chew it anymore, you asked me if it could be thrown out in the wastebasket.  I answered you with a “Sure El, but place it in a tissue first so that it does not stick to the sides or the bottom of the can.”  So you walked over to the far wall and asked me if you could use a piece of the paper-toilet to wrap it in instead.   Ellie, I tried to stifle a giggle on that one but you caught me and asked me what I was laughing at.  Not wanting to hurt your feelings I diverted the conversation by telling you that the pictures I just hung were crooked and looked silly!  And thankfully my answer satisfied you for you agreed!  Now you would think that since you call toilet-paper paper-toilet, then you would call paper-towel paper-towel.  Nope.  You flip-flopped that word too and call it towel-paper!  You also call earphones phone-ears and Piano pinano!  El, all of your Ellie-isms (and there are many) are truly endearing!  To my ears they are becoming your Signature words.

As for Poppy, coming from Philadelphia he pronounces the words water and wash with an added ‘r’, changing them slightly to warter and warsh!  He also says ‘hoagie’ (for the meat, cheese, lettuce and tomato on a roll sandwich) instead of Hero Sandwich or Sub!  Another play on words from the northeast verses the Midwest are what Poppy and I call a carbonated drink.  He will refer to it as Soda, and I have used the term Pop.  El, Philadelphians also call running shoes Sneakers.  Us Midwesterners refer to them as Tennies, which is short for Tennis shoes!  Now remember Ellie, I was born and raised in Wisconsin, and Wisconsinites call that thing you drink from in a public place a Bubbler because the water “bubbles” forth from the fountain in an arch when you turn the nob!  I am pretty sure that everyone else in the United States calls it a water fountain (go figure!).  When I pronounce the word ‘root’ and ‘roof’ they rhyme with foot and woof.  When Poppy says them, they rhyme with boot and goof.  Changing the pronunciation of one simple word can really stump a person!  That is what happened one time when I was a passenger in Pop Russell’s car.  He parked next to a curb with a tree stump preventing my car door to open.  When he asked me why I wasn’t getting out, I told him that there was a root (like in foot) in the way.  Do you know what his response was Ellie?  Yep.  With a contorted and confused look on his face, he answered with, “A what????”  Sound familiar?  I had to explain by giving the definition of the word that was blocking my way and said, “You know Dad, the bottom part of the tree that is usually hidden underground!”  Pop just laughed and said, “Oh, you mean a root!” (Like boot).  Ellie… those types of words may not be Mimi-isms or Poppy-isms… but if I were to be honest with you, I do have one that was my Signature word for a long time.  And that would be the word ‘kindergarten’, the place you are anxiously waiting to go to, but still have 2 years to wait!  Anyway, for many, many years I pronounced it kidneygarden!  Can you believe it?  And no one ever corrected me on it until about 10 years ago!  I am guessing that they stifled a giggle more than once before that and that’s ok.   Now looking back, I too giggle because I realize that I massacred the word.  Instead of referencing children entering into their first year of education… I apparently was referencing a bean, or rather many beans, growing out of a patch of ground!  Yikes!

So I guess the lesson to be learned here Ellie is that the English language has been challenged, revised, and tweaked many times since its beginning.  What is important is never to abuse it, but rather respect it.  If something does not sound right, question it.  If something doesn’t make sense, question it.  The love of reading and the love of conversing with others will increase your vocabulary tenfold El, and if you accidentally ‘tweak’ a word now and then… well, it just becomes one of your character traits that make you who you are.  Bright, Beautiful, and the Best!

I love you my little Linguist!

Mimi