Dear Big Sister,
Your brother Will was born at 7:44am on Friday, September 27
(weighing 7lbs, 3 oz and measuring 20.5in). His birth was filled with much anticipation and anxiety
(just as yours was as we have always been so nervous after losing your brother
Kyle). The hospital team was
fantastic and Will was delivered with 80’s music in the background while I was
holding onto your Dad’s hand. Will
had a full head of black hair (which I predicted with all of my acid reflux
these past few months) and the loudest cry (which was the best sound
ever). After a quick clean-up, he
was brought right over to me for skin-to-skin time as I was stitched up and
that was heaven. I said with you
and Kyle, “I wonder what he/she looks like?” It was a silly question to ask for all three of my
children. Just as with you and
Kyle, when Will was born and brought over to me, it was like I knew him my
whole life. I knew all of my
children and felt an instant connection.
Your Dad has been amazing- not only giving me reassurance to
calm my nerves prior to delivery but in the days after as my body healed. He became Mr. Mom and took care of all
the household chores and became my nurse.
With all of my children, your Dad never leaves my side in the
hospital. He changes diapers, does
the night feedings, and he is hands down the world’s best swaddler! He truly gives of himself to his
children and I.
But really, what a week this has been for you… and you
handled all of the changes so gracefully, maturely, and happily.
Life Lessons Learned
#31: Acceptance and love defy age.
The night before Will was born, we asked your Mimi and Poppy
to pick you up for a sleepover at their house, as my c-section was scheduled
very early last Friday. They
dropped you off at school to keep you in routine and for them to have a chance
to make sure everything with the baby and I were ok. Once I got out of recovery, they picked you up and brought
you to the hospital to meet your new baby brother.
That first visit was a little hard for you (and me too I
might add). When you got into the
room and saw me, you were very stand-offish… and I would have been the same
way. After having major abdominal
surgery, I definitely wasn’t at my best and certainly couldn’t greet you in the
way I wish I could have. I had
tubes and wires all over and leg compressors that looked and sounded really
scary. You kept your distance but
were brave enough to stay for forty-five minutes. We gave you your own newborn boy baby doll, that you also
called Will and you mimicked everything we did with our real Will on your
Will (feeding him, burping him).
But I have to say you were a bit less gentle with your Will (half the
time, you forgot he was your baby and he was dangling from your hand upside
down).
Day 2 was a lot better. To start, I was disconnected from all machines and I was
showered so I looked and felt much better. You came in for a morning visit and an afternoon visit that
day and by the end, you were hugging me good-bye and felt much more
comfortable. In fact, you pinched
your finger in the door on your way out and you only wanted me. When I came to you (very slowly I might
add), you said through tears, “I know you can’t pick me up but can you just
give me a big hug?” I didn’t want
to let you go. Your visits on this
day were a lot more hands on with Will too. You wanted to feed him and hold him yourself… and you were
so gentle and sweet with him.
Ellie, Will is so blessed to have you as a big sister.
I was discharged on the third day, so your Mimi and Poppy
dropped you off in the afternoon, which gave your Dad and I time to unpack and
get organized beforehand. You came
in with so much more luggage than I sent you off with… I could tell you must
have been super spoiled with your weekend away (and I will let Mimi tell you
all about that in your next letter).
But know that I appreciated that you helped your Mimi and Poppy grocery
shop and stock our refrigerator and cabinets for when we got home. And I love that your Mimi got us
balloons that you two hung on our mailbox to celebrate Will’s arrival.
The first night as a family of four in our home was by far
the best ever. I’m still in awe as
I look at you and Will, both of my beautiful, healthy children. Before we started your bedtime routine,
you asked if you could read a story to Will. You went upstairs on your own, picked one out, stood next to
his crib and recited a beautiful story (even showing him the pictures).
The next morning, while I showered, I put Will in his
vibrating chair and when I came out, you were laying next to him with your
blanket and pillow watching him.
You told me that you were having a sleepover!
But the most endearing moment you had with Will is when he
was starting to fuss last night while on my bed (I was changing into my pj’s and you were
sitting next to him as I dressed).
You went over to my nightstand and got the piece of Kyle’s blanket that
I saved. You put it to Will’s heart and then his cheek. You said, “Mommy tells me that this
makes everything all better.” Needless
to say, I couldn’t stop crying but you, Ellie, knew immediately that my tears
were happy tears (you know about Kyle’s blanket because you saw it a few weeks
ago and asked me about it. You
wanted to play with it but I said it couldn’t leave my bedroom. But I also added that at anytime when you
are sad you can come in and put it to your heart or cheek for Kyle to give you strength. More often than not, you use it to
comfort yourself when I brush your hair!).
Since being home, you have been the biggest help to me-
getting me bottles, diapers, clothes.
And you know that I have my limits with what I can do so you never ask
me to come back upstairs after I put you to bed. You are so compassionate Ellie. With me, you ask if I need to hold your hand as I stand up
from a chair (you can see the pain on my face I guess) or you offer your help
when I am walking up the stairs. You show such tenderness and kindness when you not only kiss your brother but you
kiss my shirt where my “boo-boo” is.
Yes, Love really does make everything all better.
At three and a half Ellie, you have embraced Will just like
your Dad and I did. You have
become his other mother and his protector.
I love you my sweetest angel,
Mom
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