Happy birthday Mimi (as you, Ellie, are patiently waiting for cake)!
Dear Ellie,
The other day we went to a play date and you weren’t very
social or pleasant to the children or their mother. So on the way home, we had a discussion in the car that when
we are at someone else’s house, we need to be polite and we can’t be mean. Your response was, “Well, accidents
happen.” Either you are too smart
for your own good by transcending definition boundaries or else I need to be
more obvious in my attempts at explaining how the world works! By the time you are old enough to read
these letters, I hope that your shyness wears are off some and that people see the
happy, carefree child I know and I love!
So this week’s topic:
Life Lessons Learned
#2: Understanding how
authority works through a child’s eyes!
I don’t believe in hitting or spanking Ellie. When you misbehave, I try to say, “I
love you but I don’t like what you’re doing when…” but frankly sometimes when
you have a typical 2-year-old meltdown, a time out is needed for both you and
me. I carry you to your room and
tell you that as soon as you are calmed down and you can say you are sorry,
then you may come out. Because of
your incredibly stubborn personality, you could be in your room for upwards of
twenty minutes before you apologize.
And then later, usually before bed when you aren’t emotional, we will
talk about what happened. I also
try to role-play with you to show how you could have handled a situation.
For instance, while visiting an aunt recently in Philly, I
asked you to play with your toys in her living room while I had some adult
conversation time with her in the dining room. You flipped out and when I gave you a warning you shouted
“NO! NOOOOOOO! NOOOOOOOOOOO!” as if you were possessed! So off you went to time out until you
could apologize to my aunt and I and play in the living room (it took many
minutes El!). Later that night, we
talked about what happened and I said, “Ellie sometimes adults need their time
and you have to wait so when I ask you to do something, I need you to do it. I don’t like it when you scream at me
and don’t listen.” Your response
was this, “Well, I don’t like it when you are mean to me.” Looking at it from your perspective,
you are our only living child so we spoil you, we talk to you like you are a
grown-up so the few times that I don’t include you, you get your feelings
hurt.
Ellie I really love that you have the opportunity to have
your voice heard and have an opinion of your own. You are so smart and you are rationalizing so well at such a
young age, but I have to learn to teach you the fine line for you to understand
authority too! You my dear child
are very difficult and strong willed and I love that so much about you, but I
fear it’s also going to be the death of me! I can only imagine our arguments when you are fifteen!
I love you Bean! Mom
PS- A moment to remember... You are learning to write you name!!! I am so proud of you!
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