Life Lesson Month of July: Blog 4- Letters from Mom & Mimi

Dear Ellie,

Usually I start my writing in the early mornings, but these past two weeks have been such a whirlwind that I thought I had more time than I actually do.  At this very moment it is 8:00 pm on Thursday (the night before my blog entry is due) and I realized that I have not yet started.  Somewhat frantic and fearful of my pending deadline, I took a few moments to reflect on what I have learned during the days leading up to your brother Kyle’s 5K/Walk, the actual day of Kyle’s Walk, and the time after Kyle’s Walk.  And my lesson learned Ellie was not a difficult one at all, but rather joyful.  Here it is:

Life Lessons Learned #21: You are never too old to give or receive an ‘I Love You.’

Ellie, it was so amazing to have family and friends from near and far visit and re-connect.  There were so many ‘hugs’ given out, so many ‘hi’s and ‘kisses’ exchanged, and so many ‘smiles’ present.  It was a wonderful time-frame to witness.  Our loss of a beautiful baby boy had miraculously turned into a positive.  And even though the pain is still very much present, Kyle has shown us how to rise above.  But losing someone so tiny and so quickly was a crucial reminder to never forget what is truly important in life.  And that is to say three simple words “I Love You” each and every day and as often as possible.  I think Kyle heard those words no less than a million times in his eleven days of life, and now he is bringing those words right back to us on a daily basis through his purpose.  

I wrote a poem a while back and I think it fits perfectly with my thoughts of these past two weeks.  I would like to share it with you Ellie.  Here it is.

I Love You’s

Children need hugs and kisses

And lots of I Love You’s.

When at their best or at their worst

Show patience.  It’s a virtue.

Children need our attention

And lots of I Love You’s.

To hold, to talk, to play a game

These actions name just a few.

Children need some time with us

And lots of I Love You’s.

So take a break and be with them

It’s what we need to do.

Children need for us to listen

And lots of I Love You’s.

Just like us they want to be heard

So listen and answer on queue.

Children need hugs and kisses

And lots of I Love You’s.

It doesn’t matter if they’re young or old

They need to feel loved through and through.

By: Mickey Russell

So I guess the lesson learned this week Ellie-bean is that even though God has given each of us a “lifetime” to live, and whether that may mean minutes, days, or many, many years, always say those three meaningful words “I Love You” as often as you can.  You will never regret it El.  They give each of us meaning; a sense of worth.   They give each of us feeling; a sense of being wanted and needed.  And they give each of us hope; a sense of purpose and a closer connection to Him.

I Love You my precious Ellie-bean.

Mimi 

Life Lesson Month of July: Blog 3- Letters from Mom & Mimi

Dear Angel,

Saturday is our 4th annual Kyle Russell Callahan Scholarship 5k that we organized to remember and honor your brother’s life and legacy.  I am always nervous and anxious in the days leading up to it, as I want everything to go so perfectly.  But then I remember that not everything goes according to plan (as was our story with Kyle) and that’s ok.

Life Lessons Learned #20: There are bluer skies and rainbows after a storm.

I wish someone would have told me when I learned that Kyle was so sick and probably wouldn’t live that, “You are about to embark on a wonderful journey!” Despite so much heartache, Kyle brought much joy and happiness in our lives these past four years.  The lesson that I’ve learned in the meantime is that there are beautiful skies after a storm.  Ellie, in the past few weeks we have had lots of rain here.  During the first of a string of many thunderstorms, you told me that you were scared of the booming sound so I told you that it’s just Kyle and the angels bowling up in heaven.  That seemed to calm your fear and then you noticed after the storm what beautiful shades of pinks, purples, and blue the sky became (with a rainbow too).  After that, you look forward to when the storm pushes through to see what it has left behind.  Keep that quality Ellie, whether it be a simple rainstorm or a challenged life-storm, always look ahead.  A beautiful rainbow or a bright blue sky will gradually present itself.    

Like so many others, Saturday is a day that wouldn’t have happened if it weren’t for Kyle.  Family and friends will gather for the 4^th time and another student will be able to continue their education- sounds like a pretty amazing feat for a baby who only lived 11 days!

I feel so blessed Ellie that you get to celebrate Kyle’s life with us.  Fingers crossed that the weather cooperates for all those coming out to run and walk!

Love you Bean!

Mom

Life Lesson Month of July: Blog 2- Letters from Mom & Mimi

Hi Ellie!

Boy do I have a blog story to share with you today!  Because of your creative imagination you’ve made this week’s writing very easy for me!  And besides, I love sharing you!  Here it is:

Life Lessons Learned #19: Not everyone is cut out to be a waitress… A 3 year old or me!

Well, let me start off by saying that when you sleep over Ellie, life, as we know it takes on a different style!  This last time that we had you for the evening you decided that we were going to play restaurant lady and customer.  Since we have your little kitchen already set up in our living room, all we had to add was a tiny table and find you a notepad and pencil.  Once that was complete, it was time to play!  When I asked who was playing which role, of course you said that you would be the restaurant lady and I had to be the customer.  So down the stairs I went to begin our playtime selection.  I came in the front door, walked up the steps and waited for you to seat me… oh, and my two pretend friends Devin and Gretel too.  El, you smiled sweetly at my choice and proceeded to take us over to the couch and had me sit down.  Then you walked away to grab your pencil and notepad only to come back and say, “What do you want?”  My response was, “Do you have a menu for us to look at because we don’t know what your establishment has to offer.”  Your first question was, “What is an establishment?”  Of which I had to explain.  And your second statement was, “I don’t have one” (meaning a menu.)  You then scanned every inch of the living room and came up with your own delicious entrees.  Without blinking an eye, you said, “Mimi, you can have an egg sandwich or a chicken sandwich, or a shoe sandwich or a chair sandwich.”  Since I am not too fond of woody food where a splinter could wedge itself between my teeth, nor a food that holds strong pungent odors, I opted for the egg sandwich.  My pretend friend Gretel copied me and my pretend friend Devin was a bit more daring and chose the chicken sandwich.   Your response Ellie was, “Fine.”  And off you went to rummage in your refrigerator for two round white eggs.  Once you found them, you placed each one on a slice of plastic bread and set them inside a green serving tray.  Watching you in action was hilarious.  Seeing that you also had a plastic croissant on the counter I asked if I could have it, which apparently annoyed you.  I did not expect your answer, which was a very forceful, “NO, you can’t have that!”  And then you informed me, with a very smug look, that it wasn’t called a croissant either but rather a roll.  (Geez El, you made me feel like I was in a Seinfeld Soup Nazi episode only in this case, it was the Croissant Gestapo!)  So I apologized and asked if I could at least change my bread to a roll, which you nodded affirmatively.  You then jumped/hopped across the floor and back to your little refrigerator pulling out a whole plastic chicken (I kind of held my breath here because I wasn’t sure if our role playing had changed.  Were you a waitress, a kangaroo or a rabbit?).  As you pivoted, smiled, and skipped back over to me I was relieved to see that you were still the waitress!  Maybe a bit of an unorthodox one as you were waving that chicken body to and fro like a glow stick that guides a jumbo jet in for a landing, but no matter, still a waitress!   And then an idea must have struck you because you ran back, threw the chicken on the tray, got your notepad and pencil, returned, and asked if we would like some french-fries.  When I said, “No thank you” you said that we had to eat them anyway and ran back to your kitchen set.  Placing three fries on the green tray, you finally brought it over to our table.  Upon observing your delicious items, I had to remind you that our waitress did not give us any plate, utensils or napkins.  Your response Ellie was, “Oh.”  And then you picked up and took the serving tray with you; set it on the rocking chair, found the items I requested and returned to place them on the table.  Looking at the empty plates, I gingerly asked you where my sandwich was.  You responded with a… “Ughhhhh”, and you skipped away to retrieve our lunches only to return and dump them on our plates.  Then you grabbed my plastic roll, looked at me, pretended to bite the roll, giggled and tossed it back on my plate (Now that was sanitary! … NOT!)!  Knowing that my waitress was getting a little testy, I kindly asked you if we could have something to drink.  In a very pleasant voice you said, “Oh sure” and went to retrieve your notepad and pencil again.  Now Ellie, from my vantage point I could see all the beverage boxes you had lined up on your kitchen counter.  So I asked you if the three of us could have a grape juice drink.  You quickly scribbled something on your pad and then looked up and said, “Ahhhhhhhh NO.”  I said, “Ok.  Could we have milk instead?”  Again you went to pencil something down and responded, “Ahhhhhhhh NO you can’t have that either.”  Lastly I asked if we could have Apple Juice.  And for the third time you repeated, “Ahhhhhhhh Nope!  You can’t have it just because you can’t have it!”  Now that was such a strong statement that I dared not argue it!  So I asked you what you did have to offer, as we were very thirsty.  You looked over at your kitchen set and thought for a moment before answering with, “You can have Ketchup water.”  Hmmmmm… now that didn’t sound at all enticing to my friends or me but since your ‘look’ was very stern, we coward down and said that that would be fine.  Apparently my decision appeased you because you then skipped off to get your little pitcher and three Disney Princess cups.  After setting them and a two-inch plastic ketchup bottle on the green serving tray, you picked it up and started carrying it over to our table.  By no fault of anyone’s, it dropped forcing everything to spill, roll and fall off the sides of the table.  Like a child with ants in her pants you jumped around and scooped up what you could and basically threw it back on the table forgetting the protocol of a proper place setting!  For some silly reason I then decided to take a chance and ask you what your restaurant had to offer for dessert and you said, “We don’t have anything.”  And I said, “But I see some bananas in your basket up by the counter that look yummy and we would each like to have one.”  And you said, “Welllllllllll… you can’t have those.”  And I asked, “Why?”  And you said, “Because you can’t!”  So I said, “Then can I have the check please so that I can pay the bill?”  And all of a sudden you got really, really happy and said, “Oh sure!”  And off you jumped (tripping only once) in search of your notepad.  When you found it, you tore off the top piece of paper, which had many scribbly doodles on it, and handed it to me along with some paper money that you found in a drawer.  When I asked you what the money was for you looked at me like I was a one year old and said, “This is what you have to pay me Mimi.  $5.00.”  I responded with a “Wow!  I am glad you are paying me to pay you!  I like this restaurant and will definitely come again.”  You then you told me to leave.

At that point we switched roles Ellie, me being the restaurant lady and you being the customer.  Long story short, every time I went to write something down on the notepad, you had to fix it.  And every time I went to the little kitchen to get something you ordered, you came over to help me, so much so that when it came time to serve your table with the green serving tray, you did it yourself!  I then reminded you that you and your two friends had to eat the lunch I made and you said, “No thanks!”   You then proceeded to tell me to sit down and eat it, because you didn’t want to any more.  Obviously it was time to close down the restaurant and find something new to play!

So I guess my lesson learned Ellie is that at this moment in time neither one of us would make a good waitress or a restaurant owner for that matter.  But playing this make-believe game with you was so much fun and a wonderful forever memory for me to keep in my heart.  You know El; there is an old saying that holds some truth.  It is Practice Makes Perfect.   And something tells me that you and I are going to have a great time practicing (We already have the giggles down to perfection!)!

(After playing restaurant, we played school... this is you working on our science lab (looking into my plastic lawn bunny's ear!)

Love you Ellie-bean!

Mimi 

Life Lesson Month of July: Blog 1- Letters from Mom & Mimi

Dear Ellie,

You are a rough and tough girl (and a little clumsy) so it’s only natural that you get your share of cuts and bruises.  Just the other day, you were singing and dancing on your ladybug chair at your Mimi’s and Poppy’s and got so caught up in your routine that you fell out… and ended up with a long abrasion on your leg.   

Life Lessons Learned #18: Kisses can make everything better.

Whenever you take a spill, I love that you know that a hug and a kiss may not heal your wound right away but it will make you feel cherished, nurtured, and somewhat better.  Usually, it’s enough to stop your tears and even make you smile.

And I love that you know to return the favor… the other day, the cat ran off my lap leaving a sore scrape.  You came right over and without asking or blinking an eye, you kissed my leg gently then went right back to your make believe game.  It was such a kind, innocent, and sweet gesture.  It made me so proud of you and I forgot all about the scratch.

You always know that you can run to me when you get hurt (or your Mimi).  I explained to you that Moms sense what their children feel because our hearts are connected.  I told you that when your heart is hurting, so is mine (seeing real tears spill our of your eyes is enough to make me want to cry with you).  Looking at where your heart is and my heart is and noticing they are clearly not touching, you observantly responded, “How?”  So I held up my hand and crossed my middle finger around my pointer finger to show you that our hearts are intertwined.  You, my smart girl, recognized the connection, and said, “Oh!  Kind of like criss-cross apple sauce!” referencing the way you sit at school with your legs crossed.    

Remember Ellie that most times, the emotions of love and happiness can surpass the physical pain.   

I love you Angel!

Mom

Life Lesson Month of June: Blog 4- Letters from Mom & Mimi

Good Morning Sunshine!

I know I have said it a millions times, but your name is so befitting to you.  Ellie, your name means ‘light’ and you truly are the light of my life as well as so many others!  For my blog this week my story again pertains to you and how easily it is for you to “see” outside the box and change its boundaries, even if it is just for a moment in time.

Life Lesson Learned #17: Playing an actual game of baseball is certainly a lot of fun, but I just found out that playing pretend baseball is even more so!

Ellie, you are such a delight!  Last evening your Mommy called Poppy and me and said that you were both heading down to the park and asked us if we would like to meet you there (of course we said yes!).  So about a half hour later we came upon the two of you, not by the swing sets, but rather on the baseball diamond.  Your Mommy was standing at home plate and you were on the pitchers’ mound.  From a distance, we thought she was hitting balls for you to catch, but as we got closer Poppy and I could see quite clearly that neither of you had any baseball equipment.  Well… “real” equipment that is!  But it was plain to see that you were pretending to throw her a baseball and she was pretending to swing a bat and hit it.  Once you saw Poppy and me you directed us to sit on the bench to be the spectators.  As we rooted for you to tag your mommy out El, you got so excited that you changed the rules of the game… (not that you were following any to begin with) and instructed your Mom to stop what she was doing and to follow you over to where we were sitting.  Then you hopped up onto the batters’ bench to sit with us, as did your mom.  Next, you informed the three of us to continue watching the baseball game that was taking place and to root for the winning team.  Ellie, to you it did not matter that there wasn’t a soul out on that field.  And to us it did not matter either as you were having lots of fun.  But to the people passing by I am sure we had them a bit perplexed!  Anyway, after a few minutes of sitting you decided to change up the teams.  Per your instructions, I was to follow you out into the field, and your Mommy and Poppy were to be the spectators.  Again you took your place on the pitchers’ mound and had me stand at home plate holding a pretend bat.  I had to wait a little bit because you got distracted by the dirt at your feet and bent down to play in it for a while.  Once I yelled to you that I was ready, you stood up again and brushed your hands (yes they were dirty) all over your face and through your hair (I’m guessing that a bath was mandatory when you got home El even though I knew it wasn’t on your Mom’s evening agenda!).  Anyway, you threw the pretend ball at me with both hands.  Like I said, this was your game and your rules.  But you didn’t really throw it at me; it was more like you threw it straight up in the air!  I pretended to hit it and run for first base anyway.  Halfway there you told me to stop and freeze.  You then instructed me to pick up my pretend bat, walk it back over to the opposing team’s side and stand the bat up against the chain-link fence (and yes the fence was real!).  Then you instructed me to follow you over to the batters’ bench and take our seats for the second time.  It was now your Mommy and Poppy’s turn to play while we watched them.  Before they walked out onto the field Ellie I asked you what position they should each play and this is what you said, “Mommy has to be the Bitcher and Poppy has to be the Batter.”  I said, “Excuse me???  What is your Mommy?”  And you said, “She is the Bitcher.  She bitches and Poppy bats.”  I said, “El, you mean your Mommy is the pitcher and she pitches. “  You said excitedly, “Yeah!”  Ellie, I lost it.  I couldn’t stop laughing, nor could your Mommy and Poppy.   Once we got ourselves together again, we continued to play.  You did more running around the fence that protects home plate than the three of us did the whole time we played pretend baseball with you.  None of us ever did get a chance to run all the bases but somehow and at some point you insisted that a homerun was made!  With that we clapped and agreed that the game was finished.  You then decided it was time to go and play on the swing set.  So off we set for the parts of the park where the equipment is ‘real’ and watched you play like a typical three year old: climbing, swinging and just having fun!

So Ellie, I guess my lesson learned this week has been clearly taught to me by you.  Yes, all games have rules and yes, all games may be improvised, but each and every one of us has an imagination with limitless boundaries.  You have shown us how to use imagination in a different light: where its purpose is to have pure and simple fun.  With you, each moment in time holds a special memory because of your imagination El and I know this is just one of many still yet to come!

I love you Best-Friend!

Mimi 

Life Lesson Month of June: Blog 3- Letters from Mom & Mimi

This past week was Father's Day... we are surrounded by the world's best dads!

Dear Ellie,

This week’s blog wasn’t hard at all.

Life Lessons Learned #16: I learn a lot from you.

Things I learned from you, Ellie, in just one day:

1.     Be eager to learn and be curious (you ask questions about everything and you are so anxious to get to preschool in the mornings- everything now begs the question why?).

2.     Be active.

3.     Don’t be afraid to be silly (you love telling knock knock jokes and saying “bad” words like dooty).

4.     Stop eating when you are full (even if that means eating dessert first sometimes).

5.     Love being outside.

6.     Have basic manners.

7.     Be kind.

8.     Love unconditionally.

9.     Don’t be too vain.

10. Speak frankly and honestly.

11. Wear your emotions on your sleeve.

12. Ask to snuggle.

13. Get really, really, really excited.

14. Dream big.

15. Experiment and push boundaries.

16. Explore

17. Believe in magic.

18. Create your games, make your own rules, and then change them.

19. Be spontaneous one minute, then very indecisive the next.

20. Naps and/or quiet time are a must.

21. Observe.

22. Play hard and then sleep hard.

23. Live your fantasies and play make-believe (you role play and have imaginary friends like no one I have ever met).

24. Relish in the company of those you love the most.

Ellie, from this list I realized I learned something from you just about every hour of the day (and I could go on and on).  You know I admire you because as a three year old, you are limited in so many of your choices (think about it, you don’t have a say in bedtime or naptime or have much of a say in meal choices or running errands) but your imagination is limitless.  You live outside boundaries.  Today, you asked me to pretend to be your teacher, Mrs. Lower (and five minutes later, you also asked me to be you (Ellie), then two minutes later, you told me to be your Mimi), as you were Megan (another friend from school) who had a little sister (named Little Megan, who you pretended to carry around) while we role played in different scenarios.  And if I don’t keep the names and situations straight, you get very upset.  You keep me on my toes!

I love you my crazy girl!

Love,

Mom  

Life Lesson Month of June: Blog 2- Letters from Mom & Mimi

Hi Ellie… or should I say Megan or Olivia or Elizabeth???   This month (and we are only 13 days into it) you have changed your name at least 3 times!  And to make life in “Ellie’s” world a tad bit more challenging, you have added a few additional characters that no one can see but are very much present in your daily interactions!

Take for instance our jaunt to the grocery store:  You were Big Megan… apparently your sister Little Megan was along, as well as your good friend Big Ellie.  You and I had to help these invisible children out of the car and walk them across the parking lot with me hunched over like a decrepit old woman because those invisible little ones were only about a foot tall.   Once we were inside, together you and I had to hoist them into the basket of the grocery cart because you insisted that its child-seat, which sits center stage, was for you alone to ride in (and like a queen I might add!).  Anyway, even though your multiple character choices would make for a great blog this week, I’d rather focus on the character you’ve become.  And besides I am sure that there will be plenty of opportunities throughout your childhood to revisit my first thought!   But this week, my blog focus is on the ‘little character’ you were in Church!

Life Lesson Learned # 15:  When attending Mass with a three year old you must listen extra hard to hear God’s Word as distractions are inevitable for both young and old!

Yes Ellie… that three year old would be you!  For the most part you are very respectful and pretty quiet in church (except for the occasional loud gruff whisper that you yell to your mom when you are informing her that you are being quiet!).  But where you still need a little work is in the “sitting without moving” area.  Let me rephrase that.  After this past Saturday evening… I’m thinking you are going to be our perpetual work in progress!  Let me explain why.  On our drive to Mass, you asked your Mommy if you could bring a Lunchable with you because that is what one of your little best friends at school ate.  Because you are such a picky eater and you specifically asked for this snack your Mommy thought, “why not?”  So we made a pit stop at the Sheetz Convenience Store to purchase this interesting choice of treat for you.  Upon arriving at church, we chose to sit in a pew near the front to give you a good view of the choir.  (That was Mistake #1!)  Once we were seated, settled in, and the service started, you asked if you could take off your shoes and I said yes.  (That would be Mistake #2.)  It was at that moment you realized that you had a hangnail on your toe.  So you sat down on the kneeler and proceeded to try and pull it off.  Your Mommy was not thrilled with this apparent engrossment of yours so she tapped you on the head and signaled for you to stop doing what you were doing and sit still.  You, being the kind of child that can’t let something go until it is completed, shrugged your shoulders and quickly stuck your big toe in your mouth and bit the hangnail off!  I was not only shocked but also amazed at how easily you accomplished this El!  You are one very bendy little girl (and just so you know I did try imitating that feat at home on the same evening just to see if I could bend my legs that far.  Nope… I almost broke myself in two!  My body is apparently not made of Gumby extremities like yours)!  Anyway, back to my story.  After stifling a shocked giggle and recomposing myself, you went from a sitting position on the kneeler to a laying position with your arms and legs wrapped around it like a hotdog bun hugging its content, the hotdog!  We thought you were being a tootsie roll but you said the kneeler was a string and you were trying to balance on it!  Speaking of strings… we brought along Kyle’s bag as it held your doll only to find out that it would be your next distraction.  (And also Mistake #3.)  Who would have thought that the bag itself could be a deterrent!  Actually it was the strings from Kyle’s bag that dangled over the edge of the pew that caused the problem of attracting your attention.  While laying on the kneeler you tried to slide your feet into the loop of each string which created a hammock effect allowing you to swing them back and forth as well as to and fro!  Thankfully you tired of that within seconds and returned to a standing position to watch the interactions of Mass.  (Now came Mistake #4.)  You asked your Mommy if you could eat your Lunchable.  So she took it out of her pocketbook, opened its lid and placed the package directly on the pew.  You dear Ellie took out a cracker, smiled, and set it down on the bench.  You then took out a slice of cheese, placed it on the cracker and whispered that you were going to make a sandwich.  Next you took out another cracker and placed it on the cheese.  Quite pleased with yourself you picked it up and were just about ready to eat it when you realized that you forgot to add the slice of bologna.  With an “Ooops” expression on your face, you set down your yummy creation and quickly grabbed a piece of meat.  Its slippery texture must have intrigued you because you brought that tiny circular slice of bologna close to your eyes for further inspection.  But upon doing so, you let out an “Ewwwwww, this meat smells yucky!”  Ellie, if the whole congregation didn’t hear you, the dozen or so pews surrounding us certainly did!  Your Mommy quietly removed the mystery meat and gave you a wipey-dipe to wash your hands.  (And that would become Mistake #5!)  Being the responsible child you are, you not only washed your hands but the pew too!  And when your mommy took the wipey-dipes away from you, in the blink of an eye you hiked up your bright orange sundress to tummy level and gave its beautiful fabric another purpose.  Yep… you polished the bench as though you were instructed not to stop until you could see it shine!  Oh my Ellie-bean, you were one busy little girl during church service.  At least we had no issues with the passing of the collection basket.  You are the one in charge of putting both your Mommy’s and my envelope into it.  And you are always quite proud of yourself for performing this weekly task without error.  You are also at your very best when it comes time to go to Communion.  As long as Monsignor pats your head or your arm Ellie, you are pleased and satisfied that you too have received Jesus in your heart.  That is my favorite part of Mass because you usually break into a huge grin that spreads from ear to ear.  It is as though you have been blessed with the best gift of all! 

Which brings me back to my Life Lesson Learned El.  Even through the many distractions you created and explored during Mass, I do remember an important part of Monsignor’s sermon that evening.  It was about forgiveness: asking for forgiveness and granting forgiveness.  It was that one word, forgiveness, which seemed to fit perfectly into my blog topic this week.  It is a humbling word and one that our vocabulary should never be without.   So even though it was late in the day and well past dusk, I still made sure to ask for forgiveness for not paying attention to the whole of Mass.  And I am pretty confident that God too had to think about forgiveness.  Only his had to come in the form of granting it!  And that would be to the three of us because distractions are quite common in our daily living.   You may be our little work in progress Ellie, but life as a whole is always a work in progress, and that pertains to everyone!  But it is up to each of us to listen with our hearts and mind and hear what needs to be heard!  God listens.

Till next time Beaner… I always look forward to what you have in store for us for you are my favorite distraction of all!

Love Mimi